In the Heat of the Night
by Lillie Cullen
Summary: ON HIATUS When Edward left, Bella sought solace in Jacob's arms. When Bella ran to Italy to save Edward, Jacob followed. Are there boundaries to what someone will do for love? When tragedy strikes, it's a question everyone must answer for themselves.
1. Prologue

_**Disclaimer:** We don't own Twilight. Our storyline and original characters are our own, however. Please do not copy or reproduce them without our permission._

_**A/N:** Welcome to HotN. This is the Support Stacie auction story that was purchased by Dr. Death, who graciously allowed us to post it for your viewing pleasure. It is a collaboration by myself and changedbyEdward, and will be posted on both profiles. Many thanks to readingtime for being our beta-goddess for this story._

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**_Prologue_**

"Bella, what the hell were you thinking?" Jacob asked her after she'd choked up the last of the frigid saltwater. She looked and felt like a drowned rat, but Jacob didn't care, as long as she was still breathing. He sat her up and wrapped his body around her back, letting his body heat warm her. Bella sunk into his embrace. She couldn't tell him that she was hoping to hear Edward's voice one last time before she died, but all she had heard was silence. Edward was truly gone, and he was never coming back to her. She realized that no amount of near death experiences was ever going to change that.

Was he really worth dying for? If he still loved her, if he were here with her, absolutely. _But he doesn't love me, and he isn't here. Jacob is._ Sweet, wonderful Jacob, who wanted nothing more than the chance to make her happy, to bring some light back into her life. Jacob, who was nuzzling his face into her neck and repeating her name repeatedly while he rubbed her arms between his hands to get her circulation pumping again. Jacob, who had given so much and asked for so little, hoping that his hints and innuendos would one day not go unnoticed or ignored.

When her mother had come from Jacksonville to try and take her back home, she'd said something that stuck with Bella. Something that, at the time Bella just blew off as self-help psychobabble from her dingbat mother who knew nothing of true love, but that was starting to make sense to her now. Renee had said that the first step to being happy was to pretend you're happy. She said if you pretended long enough and hard enough, eventually one day you'd look around and realize you weren't pretending anymore. She realized in that moment what she had almost done to her father. To Jacob. To people who weren't Cullens, who actually worried about whether she lived or died.

She snuggled deeper into Jacob's embrace as he carried her to the truck. They were both almost dry, and she wasn't shivering anymore, but she craved the warmth, the soft skin over hard muscles, so unlike what she was used to, but maybe that wasn't a bad thing. Maybe the fact that Jacob was Edward's polar opposite in every way was just what she needed. And even if it wasn't, she could pretend.

Jacob drove her home and carried her upstairs. He mumbled an explanation to Charlie as he carried her upstairs. Luckily for them, Charlie trusted Jacob explicitly. If he said not to worry about it, then Charlie wasn't going to worry about it. He'd worried about Bella so much lately. Too much. He hung the last of his hope on Jacob to bring his daughter back to him.

Jacob sat her on the edge of the bed and pulled back the comforter before laying her down. He kissed her forehead and started to pull away, intending to cover her back up and leave so she could get some rest. But when he felt her arms wrap around his waist and hug him to her, he couldn't help himself. He knew she was emotionally fragile, her pain so obviously still raw. But he felt fragile too, and he couldn't deny that he'd dreamt of holding her in his arms. He lowered himself carefully into her embrace, hugging her in turn. His lips reached out to kiss her neck of their own accord. When she moaned his name softly, he thought he'd died and gone to heaven. Bella leaned her head to his, her fingers digging into his shoulder blades.

Jacob trailed kisses up her neck, down her jaw, pausing for just a moment, looking for any sign of hesitation from Bella before he kissed her. He found none. He peppered her lips with chaste, tentative kisses. Bella was the one to deepen the kiss. Jacob wouldn't tell her no, wouldn't push her away. He had no fear of hurting her. She was the one with the power to hurt him if she so chose. He may have been laying above her, may have been so much stronger physically, but Bella could crush him with one word. He'd never felt so exhilarated, so frightened, so in love. He didn't know if it was imprinting, but he couldn't imagine anything being more powerful.

His hands went to the hem of her shirt, caressing the soft skin he found there. He was still so certain that Bella was going to put a stop to it at any minute, tell him that she couldn't do it, that she didn't feel the same way he did. She didn't. Instead she arched her back into his touch. He wrapped one arm around her and lifted her up so he could pull her shirt over her head with the other hand. Bella wrapped her arms around Jacob's neck, deciding in that moment to give herself to him completely.

"More, Jacob. Love me, please..." The last of Jacob's restraint disappeared in that moment.

"Oh Bella, I do. You know I do," he moaned against her collarbone as his fingers and lips and tongue explored every inch of skin he'd uncovered. "Let me love you."

Bella tugged at his shirt, letting him know she wanted it gone, and he obeyed, pulling it over his head and tossing it to the floor. Her fingertips explored his chest, tracing every well-defined muscle. Truly, Jacob was as gorgeous as he was pure of heart. How had she never noticed? She pushed the answer to that question to the back of her mind, choosing instead to beg Jacob for more. She was so lost in the feelings he was bringing out in her that she barely noticed he had finished undressing them both before settling himself between her legs. She could feel his hot length pressing up against her as he kissed her. She'd never had a tongue caress hers the way his did now. It made her dizzy with lust. It was so easy, to not think, to just feel.

"Bella, are you sure?" She nodded her head and wrapped her legs around his hips. Jacob pressed into her slowly, his heat cauterizing her wound as he broke her barrier. He held her while she shuddered and cried, not moving until she started kissing him again, rocking her hips to show him she was okay.

"I love you, Bella," he whispered in her ear as he caressed her hair and made love to her slowly, never wanting it to end.

"I love you, too, Jake." She meant it. Not the way he did, but she meant it just the same. As for the rest? She could pretend. After what seemed like forever, he spilt his seed inside her, panting hot breaths against her skin as he rolled off of her and pulled her against him. He fell asleep almost immediately, snoring softly. Bella laid next to him, wanting to move, escape the heat, suddenly so oppressive she could barely breathe. She needed to let the cool air dry the sweat from her skin, both hers and his, but she couldn't bring herself to move. The weight of what she'd just done held her down like an anvil on her chest, so much heavier than his arm thrown across her torso.

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A/N: Have you joined the Manhunt yet? It has won an Editor's Choice Award! http://textnovel(dot)com/stories_list_detail(dot)php?story_id=1521

Michael Brennan and Nikki Wright shared a bond forged by love, loss and hardship. Michael's life was finally taking a turn for the better while Nikki's was descending into darkness. One fateful night changed everything. Just how much is Michael willing to give up for love? How far is he willing to run?


	2. Chapter 1

_**Disclaimer:**__ We don't own Twilight. Our storyline and original characters are our own, however. Please do not copy or reproduce them without our permission._

_**A/N: **__Thank you for your reviews for our Prologue. We are very excited about this story and think you will be, too. Many thanks to readingtime for being our beta-goddess._

_**Chapter One**_

Bella awoke early in the morning to the sounds of Charlie and Jacob talking downstairs. She laid very still for a moment trying to process what had happened the night before. When the front door closed and she heard Charlie's cruiser start up, she rolled over in the bed, moaning at her soreness. She winced when she stood due to the pain in her legs. She felt stretched and sore between her legs and the cold floor wasn't helping her as she wanted to move very slowly, but had to speed her movements to keep her feet from freezing. She went into the bathroom to freshen up and spend some time alone, thinking, before she had to go face Jacob.

Once she was showered and dressed, she dug around for some Tylenol and swallowed two of them before heading downstairs. As she rounded the corner of the staircase and Jacob came into view, she suddenly felt very awkward and hoped he wouldn't notice. She didn't want to hurt Jake's feelings, but she wondered if she had made the right choice in the heat of the moment the night before. Jacob turned his head away from the television when the second step creaked under her weight.

"Good morning," he said softly, standing and crossing the floor to meet her. Bella smiled at him, trying not to let her nervousness show.

"Good morning, Jake. Are you hungry?" Jacob embraced her and chastely kissed her on the lips before replying that he was, indeed, very hungry. He followed her to the kitchen where she set about making breakfast. He tried to help her, but she wouldn't have it, telling him instead to sit and talk to her while she cooked. Uncomfortable silence followed as Jacob watched her cooking eggs, bacon, and hash-browns, as well as pancakes. Bella poured them both a glass of orange juice and was scrambling the eggs when the telephone rang. She turned to answer it, but Jacob had already crossed the floor and nonchalantly picked up the receiver.

"Swan residence," he said into the phone with a smile in his voice. Bella turned from her eggs to watch him and saw his facial expression fall from a smile to a frown. "Nah, he's gone for the day. Had a funeral to go to." With everything that happened the day before, Bella had completely forgotten the funeral for one of Charlie's friends, a retired cop. She couldn't think too much on it, though, because in an odd twist of events, Jacob simply hung up the phone.

"Jake! What are you doing? Who'd you just hang up on?" Bella was a little more than irritated at Jacob's act of entitlement. She felt that he should have allowed her to at least talk with the caller. Jacob, on the other hand, not only didn't want Bella to talk to the caller, he didn't want to tell her who it was. He didn't want Bella talking to him and getting all upset after the beautiful night they had shared. Besides, he felt that it was his job to protect her from _them_. He would see to it that she was never hurt again the way _he_ had hurt her.

Jacob shrugged, "Nobody." Bella turned off the stove and rounded on him, hands on her hips.

"Who do you think you are? You tell me who that was right now, Jake!" She was angry and her eyes were ablaze.

"It was Dr. Cullen," Jake told her quietly while he sipped on his juice. Bella was ready to spit nails. She slammed the plates down on the table, tossed the silverware in a pile in the center, and practically threw Jake's eggs at him to get them on the plate. Once she sat down, she started to calm and decided to probe him further.

"Why didn't you just hand me the phone?" Jacob considered his words carefully before answering her.

"He didn't ask for you, Bells. He asked for Charlie." He wasn't trying to be mean or nasty when he hung up on Carlisle. Carlisle had asked for Charlie and Charlie wasn't there. Bella was confused, but decided that maybe Carlisle had just called Charlie to check on her. She wondered briefly if that meant that Edward was wanting to know how she was, but quickly dismissed that thought. If Edward had wanted to know how she was, he would have called himself. She picked at her food while Jacob watched. "You gonna eat that?" he asked, gesturing at her pancakes.

"No." She shoved the plate with the pancakes on it towards him and he happily buttered them up and put syrup on them. "Jacob, I..." she began and then trailed off. Jake looked at her curiously while he continued to eat before deciding he needed to try and fix this.

"I don't want you to have a setback because of them, especially now that you're finally happy again."

Bella pondered his statement and realized he was probably telling the truth. She decided to drop the subject for the time being and concentrate on other, more pressing matters. "About last night, Jake..."

"I thought last night was amazing, Bella. I hope you're okay with it?" Truthfully, Jacob's heart was soaring. He finally had the one thing he wanted in the whole world, but he hoped that Bella didn't have any regrets.

"Sure, Jake, it was great. I'm a little... sore." Bella flushed red at having admitted her soreness to Jacob. She felt incredibly awkward discussing it with him and would have preferred for a hole to open up in the earth and swallow her, but she was pretty sure that wasn't going to happen, so she sat at the kitchen table, crimson from head to toe, and waited for Jacob's response to the revelation that she was sore. It was to be expected, since it was her first time, but she wondered what he would think.

"Sorry you're sore. Anything I can do to help?" Jacob smiled and laughed nervously. Bella timidly smiled back at him, not really knowing how to respond.

"Uh, no. I think I'll be fine in a day or two." Or at least she hoped she would. "What happens now, Jacob? I mean, we didn't plan this or anything, it just sort of... happened. I'm not really sure what the next step is." She was timid as she broached the subject, treading carefully so as not to alarm Jacob or hurt him. He had, after all, been the only one there for her the last few months. She knew that somewhere deep in her heart, she hadn't lied, she really did love him, just not the way he wanted her to. She kept her resolve strong that she would pretend until it felt real and waited for his answer.

Meanwhile, a black Mercedes was tearing down the road from the Cullen house to Bella's house. _Oh God, it just can't be true,_ Alice thought as she drove. She kept trying to see Bella, but couldn't see anything. She was terrified that Bella really was dead. She slowed as she approached the house and saw Bella's red truck parked out front. The cruiser was gone. She stopped a block away from the house and took the rest of the trip on foot. As she approached, she heard two distinct voices along with two separate heart beats coming from the house. One was unmistakably Bella's, the other a male voice that she didn't recognize, but as she neared the house, she could smell him and knew it had to be a Quileute, probably Bella's friend Jacob.

She was so anxious to get to Bella, but she didn't want to alarm the Quileute. She didn't know exactly what was going on, but she could tell from the smell that Jacob was no longer just a human. She knew their history and what they were capable of. She didn't want trouble, but she had to see Bella, and fast. She finally decided to go knock on the door when she heard the male voice that had to be Jacob, say, "You weren't just a quick lay, Bella. You were my first. I was yours. That means something to me. I love you."

Alice froze. She was standing across the street from Bella's house and didn't know what to do. She listened for a moment as Bella responded, "It means something to me, too, Jake. I love you. I'm just... a little confused this morning I guess."

Jacob stood and walked around the table, taking Bella into his arms and standing her up. Her arms went around him and they stood there holding each other for a few moments, both silently wondering what to say. A breeze blew through the house from an open window and Jacob went rigid.

"Jake? What's wrong?" Bella felt all of his muscles ripple and knew that something was up. She stepped away and looked at him. He started towards the front door and stopped. He had caught a scent on the air and knew there was a vampire close by.

"Bella, get up to your room and lock the door, now," he ordered. Bella felt confused, but was afraid that something was terribly wrong, so she hurried to get to the stairs. Just as she started up them, she turned. The front door swung open and there stood Alice.

"Alice!" Bella shrieked. "What are you doing here?" Alice looked first at Jacob, then Bella before answering.

"It's Edward, Bella. I need to talk to you, preferably alone." Alice regarded the werewolf carefully as she stepped inside the house and quietly closed the door. Jacob placed himself between Bella and Alice, his entire body trembling with rage.

"You need to leave," Jacob seethed. He didn't know what the bloodsucker wanted, but something was up, and he knew he didn't like it.

Alice watched him carefully as she said, "I need to talk to Bella. I think maybe you're the one who needs to leave right now. You could hurt her."

"I know what I'm doing," Jacob spat back at her. "And anything you have to say to Bella, you can say to me."

Bella was watching their exchange with trepidation. She wondered if Alice had seen what she and Jacob had done the night before and came to warn her that Edward was angry. Then again, what right did he have to be angry? He was, after all, the one who left and told her to go on with her life. "Jacob, Alice, please." Bella really wasn't sure what she was pleading for, but she knew she didn't want them to start fighting in her house. Jacob grabbed Bella around her waist and pulled her close to him. Heat was rolling off him in waves and his body was still trembling, his muscles all set on edge.

Alice shifted her weight slightly and said, "Fine. Bella, Edward thinks you're dead. He's gone to Italy to the Volturi; he wants them to kill him. I realize that you've... moved on... but would you consider helping me to stop him? You're the only way I have of doing it."

Bella felt herself getting faint. She couldn't breathe. Her whole body was trembling. Jake felt it too and helped her sit down on the steps with a thud. She could hear them talking to her, she thought they were asking if she was alright, but she couldn't be sure. They sounded like she was under water.

Edward thought she was dead. He was trying to commit suicide. But why? He left her, not the other way around! Although they still seemed a million miles away, the sounds of Jake and Alice fighting began to invade her thoughts.

"What are you playing at, coming back here like this, guilting her for yet another stupid decision by Edward Cullen. She had every right to move on! She can't go to Italy! And who the hell are the Volturi?!" Jacob was furious. He had hoped to spend the morning with Bella in post-coital bliss, not arguing with a leech while Bella looked like she was about to slip right back into the walking coma she was in when _he_ first left.

"Listen here, Jacob Black. I know my brother messed up. He knows it, too, alright? But I'm not about to stand by and watch him kill himself over it! So step off before you and I have a serious problem."

They continued bickering, as though they'd completely forgotten Bella was even in the room.

"Stop."

They both spun around to look at her.

"Alice, would you mind packing me a bag while I talk to Jacob?" Alice smiled thankfully at her and gave her a quick hug before running past her up the stairs.

"Bella, you're not really considering this, are you?" Jake looked so crestfallen. She had to soften the blow, while still making him understand. Edward needs her, and it didn't really matter if he wanted her anymore, she would be there for him. She would do the same for Jacob.

"Jake, I have to. I can't let him kill himself if it's in my power to stop it. Please. You would do the same for any one of the pack, wouldn't you?"

"Yes, Bella, but that's different. They're family, and they didn't trample all over my heart without so much as a second thought."

Alice was back. She didn't have time to waste indulging this conversation that could go on for days without resolution if she didn't intervene. "Bella, we've got to go. Now. I'm sorry." Bella nodded her head and turned back to Jacob.

"Let my dad know what happened. Tell him the truth, Edward's in trouble and I'm going to bring him home. Just like he did for me in Phoenix. I'll be home as soon as I can, Jake. Don't worry." She gave him a hug and he wrapped his arms around her, tucking her head under his chin.

"I love you, Bella."

"I love you, too, Jake." She didn't resist when he bent down and kissed her sweetly. "Thank you for understanding," she whispered, not knowing whether he really did or not, but at least he wasn't arguing. One more quick peck on his cheek, then she was running to the Mercedes with Alice. She never looked back.

Jacob ran to the kitchen, scribbled a note to Charlie, then hopped in Bella's truck and headed for the airport. He didn't want Bella to go at all, but if she was determined to go, then he would follow.

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Help Manhunt get published!

_Manhunt_ is currently in fifth place in a contest on textnovel with the prize being a publishing contract! The finalists are chosen based on the number of votes, story alerts and subscriptions the story has garnered. Please read it and if you think it's worthy, please vote, subscribe, leave a comment, then _**pimp it out for me!**_ Thank you to everyone who's helped me get the word out so far! ChangedbyEdward and Breath-of-Twilight have even had their husbands vote (Julie's husband is now just as hooked as she is!)

http://www(dot)textnovel(dot)com/stories_list_detail(dot)php?story_id=1521

_**What people are saying about Manhunt:**_

Absolutely love this story so far! It's fun and keeps one interested. I don't find myself zoning out and just scanning several paragraphs of crap as usual with novels - and the writing is excellent! :) Can't wait for more! .  
**By: **Draicun

I had every good intention on commenting on each of your chapters for you, but I could not stop reading long enough to do so. Mrs Lillie it sounds fabulous, and I am not just saying that to be nice either. I am an EXTREMELY picky reader when it comes to anything other than twifics, where I will try anything once. Outside of that little world I have two series that I reread constantly, and now I think I am going to have to make that three. Keep writing and I will keep reading.  
**By**: lolarose

Dang. You're amazing. The lead was a bit different then usual, at least it felt like it to me, but I really liked it. The memories came back in a reasonable manner and I liked reading about their past. Poor Jeremy, he loves them so much. I can't wait to see more. Love Elodie~.  
**By:** ElodieWolfe

I love your story. The plot is really intriguing and your writing is absolutely stunning. Reading your story somehow feels like watching a great movie :).  
**By:** Bingofish

I have to say I can't wait to see what happens. I have always loved your writing on fanfiction, but somehow this seems different. It a good way! Your writing reminds me of Sherrilynn Kenyon's writing. It's very in depth, very good..  
**By:** Kristina

Amazing story. The possible chance of finding love again because she does remember him. She can re-learn the love they shared. Forget about all the pain and abuse and focus on the good. .  
**By:** Lovedwardalways

congrats on editors pick! Your story is additive. Can't wait for more....  
**By:** readingtime


	3. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: We don't own Twilight. This story and any original characters, though, them's ours. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without express written authorization

A/N: Thanks to readingtime who has beta'ed this story and hasn't killed us yet. Do you follow us on Twitter? Look for Miss_Lillie and JuJuRN40, we have tons of fun on there and occasionally post teasers.

Have you read Manhunt yet? Yes, we're still pimping it hardcore. But there are six more days until the contest ends and Lillie could win a publishing contract. Besides, the story rocks so show her some love! http://www(dot)textnovel(dot)com/stories_list_?story_id=1521

_Oh, and remember when Lillie said after ALIF that she was never doing an__other love triangle story again? She meant that shit. Just sayin'. Enjoy! It has the Dr. Death Seal of Approval._

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_**Chapter 2**_

Jacob pushed the truck as hard as he could to get back to La Push and pick up his passport. He found it quickly, along with Billy's "emergency use only" credit card and stuffed them both in his back pocket with his wallet. He ran in his bedroom and paced while his old computer booted up. As soon as it was up, he clicked to connect the dial-up internet connection and bounced his foot up and down while he waited for that. He was about to throw the whole thing through the window when the "Google" screen finally appeared. He typed 'Volturee Italy' into the search box and hit the search button, impatiently waiting for it to return results. When they came up, at the top of the screen it said, _"Did you mean Volterra, Italy?" _"Yes!" he screamed at the computer and yanked the cord out of the wall rather than shutting it off. He rushed out the door and hopped back in the truck. He wasn't sure whether it would get him to Seattle or not, but it was a better bet than his Rabbit.

He arrived at Sea-Tac airport and parked the truck in short-term parking a little ways away from the black Mercedes. The truck sputtered and a big puff of smoke came out of it after he shut it off. He wondered if he would have to rebuild the engine when he returned, but there wasn't time to worry about that now. He ran inside the airport and up to one of the big screens to see which airlines had flights departing for Italy. He noted that Air France had a flight that was currently departing for Florence, connecting in Paris. He scanned the screen for the next flight and saw that Delta had one leaving in an hour. He sprinted to the Delta ticket counter and cut in front of six people to get to the desk.

"I need a ticket to Italy; it's an emergency!" The girl behind the ticket counter looked at him incredulously while the people behind him in line cursed and complained about him cutting in front of them. "Look lady, it's a... family emergency! Please!" Jacob turned to the people behind him and apologized while the clerk began pecking away at the keyboard in front of her.

_"_There's a flight leaving for Florence in 56 minutes. It connects in Paris. I think you can just make it."

"Sure, sure. Whatever, just book me." Jacob didn't want to waste time with the details. All he knew is that he had to get moving if he was going to catch up with Bella.

"How are you going to pay for this, sir? The fare is $3037." Jacob cringed as he pulled Billy's credit card out of his wallet. He hoped the limit was enough to take care of the flight and anything else he needed. When the ticket clerk finally handed him the folder containing his itinerary, he headed straight for security and on to the gate to impatiently await his departure.

An uncomfortable silence passed between Alice and Bella as they settled into their first class seating aboard the Air France flight. Bella was worried about Edward, but at the same time, she was worried about Jacob, too. Her earlier confusion was nothing compared to what she was feeling now, and she had no idea what to say to Alice about it. Alice was having visions almost continually and she was unusually silent between them.

"What happened?" Bella addressed Alice in a small voice as she felt a million emotions coursing through her all at once and didn't know what to make of any of them.

"It's my fault, really. I... saw... you jump off a cliff and then your future just disappeared. I thought you were dead, too. The way your future just disappeared unsettled me so I came to Forks to see if I could figure out what happened, and then I heard you inside the house with... him." Alice flipped through a magazine while she talked quietly. She tried not to show how disappointed she was that Bella was with Jacob when she arrived, and she tried harder not to allude to what she had heard them discussing.

Bella thought about this for a moment and then asked Alice if Edward had seen her vision. Alice explained that Edward hadn't been with the rest of the family since they left. He had been alone, traveling the world and feeling sorry for himself. "The King of the Pity Party" she had called him. Bella wasn't quite sure what to make of that. "Look, Bella. I'm sorry for what Edward did to you when he left. I'm sorry for what all of us did. I appreciate you coming with me because Edward would never believe me if I went alone and told him that you were still alive." She went on to explain that when she had the vision, she left immediately for Forks. Rosalie had been the one to spill the beans to Edward, telling him that it was time for him to come home and stop pining because Bella was dead and there was nothing left to pine for. Bella immediately felt an overwhelming anger at Rosalie and stared out her window, transfixed on the clouds below them while she tried to calm herself down. Once she settled down a little, Alice's words sunk in. Edward was pining for her? That didn't make any sense.

Alice went back to flipping through the same magazine she had already looked at four times. For some reason, Edward kept disappearing. She saw what he was doing in Volterra, and then suddenly everything would just disappear. It terrified Alice. She started thinking that maybe she was losing her ability or had a short circuit in her brain or something. She was concerned, but didn't want to alarm Bella so she remained silent for the time being. She knew that if it continued, though, she was going to have to clue Bella in that she didn't really know exactly what was going to happen.

Bella wrung her hands in her lap before turning to face Alice. Alice glanced at her out of the corner of her eye and saw the worried expression on Bella's face. She turned to her and said, "Don't worry, Bella. Everything will be just fine, I'm sure," even though she wasn't, really.

"That's not what's bothering me. You said Edward was 'pining'? Why would he be pining about me, Alice? He told me he didn't love me anymore, that he never had. I don't understand. It just doesn't make sense that he would be pining over me and want to kill himself over me."

Alice was not easily surprised, but this surprised her more than just about anything ever had. Didn't Bella know that he had lied to her when he left? How could she think that Edward had never loved her? "Bella, I thought you understood that Edward lied to you when he left."

"What?"

"He lied. He only told you those things because he thought it would 'soften the blow' or something stupid like that. I never dreamed that you would have believed him. I just thought... I thought you were just sad that he was _gone_." Suddenly, Alice had a whole new understanding of her visions of Bella losing weight, lying in her bed crying for hours and hours, moving through her life as though she were an empty shell. It wasn't just because she missed Edward, it was because Edward had convinced her that he never loved her. The scene she had walked in on with Bella and Jacob earlier that day also became abundantly clear. Bella had given up on Edward because she thought that he didn't love her. Alice's fury with her brother's irresponsible decision rose a few notches as she processed the whole thing. She hesitated, but then grabbed Bella and hugged her tight. "I'm so sorry, Bella. I had no idea..."

Bella sobbed quietly on Alice's shoulder. _What have I done?_ she thought. She vacillated between being angry at Edward for making her believe the lie and feeling sorry for him for what he must have gone through to tell it. She wondered what she would have done differently if she had known that he was lying. She would have pleaded with him more, begged him not to go. She would have gone to Carlisle and entreated him to turn her, anything to keep Edward from leaving. Anything to not have that hole in her chest that was punched there by his words.

_"I'm no good for you, Bella... My world is not for you... Bella, I don't want you to come with me... Of course, I'll always love you...in a way... I'm...tired of pretending to be something that I'm not, Bella. I am not human... I've let this go on much too long and I'm sorry for that... You're not good for me, Bella. I promise this is the last time you'll see me. I won't come back. I won't put you through anything like this again. You can go on with your life without any more interference from me. It will be as if I'd never existed."_

The words he had said to Bella that night when he left her, alone, in the forest resonated through her head. She had tried to forget them, but those words had haunted her every single day since Edward said them. They had haunted her dreams at night and her mind when she was awake. She never had been able to completely stop them from echoing through her thoughts at every turn. Every place she went that reminded her of him, everything she did... even simple things, like brushing her teeth, had reminded her of Edward and his words, his expressionless eyes when he had said them, his smile of confidence that convinced her he meant it_. "Our kind are easily distracted_," he had said. So much for that idea. He apparently hadn't been distracted enough.

Bella sat up and wiped away her tears. "If he loved me so damn much, he shouldn't have left in the first place." She was angry. How dare Edward lie to her and make her believe he didn't want her. How dare he walk away from her, promising to never come back, when he _knew_ that he was the only one she wanted. How dare he pull this stunt when she had finally decided to accept the fact that he was gone and try to make a life for herself with Jake. How. Dare. He.

Jacob stared out the window of the plane as it rose off the ground. He felt the thud of the landing gear folding up into the fuselage and felt the lift in his belly as the plane climbed into the air. Jacob had never flown before, but here he was in a jumbo jet flying halfway around the world to follow the woman he loved. He watched the earth below him get further and further away as he tried to reason with himself and figure out exactly why Bella had felt she needed to go help rescue _him_. Jacob felt that if Edward wanted to kill himself, he should be left to it after what he had done to Bella. In the months since he had left, Jacob had watched her sparkling eyes die, he had watched her waste away until she was practically skin and bones, her cheeks had sunken deeper and deeper into her face, dark circles had formed under her eyes. Jacob had watched Bella dying without Edward and had patiently stood by as her friend who did nothing but try to love her and bring her back. No, Edward hadn't seen her through all of that. He hadn't watched her wrap her arms around herself in a feeble attempt at holding herself together so she wouldn't implode. As Jacob reminisced about the last several months, he noticed that all he could see below him was clouds. He laid back in his seat and closed his eyes, hoping to get some sleep. He had no idea what he was getting himself into in Italy, so all he could do was rest, and wait.

Bella spent her time on the flight on an emotional roller coaster. She tried to sleep, but it never lasted very long. She swung in every direction from sorrow to anger and everything in between. Alice tried, in between visions, to keep an eye on her and help her remain calm. Alice was having enough trouble trying to figure out what was going on with Edward and his ever changing plans without having the distraction of Bella's emotional landslide.

Alice could see that Edward had gone to the Volturi and requested that they kill him. She could also see that he had been denied, but offered a position with them, which he had vehemently refused. She had to leave her seat for a short time after that because Edward's plans were changing so fast that her visions were completely overwhelming her. To make matters worse, each time he settled on a plan, she would see him start to execute the plan, and then his future would disappear along with hers and Bella's. She was really beginning to believe that something was going terribly wrong with her gift. She wondered if somehow Edward or one of the Volturi were blocking her. It was unnerving to her. Alice didn't like to face the future without her visions, especially during a crisis. She had grown dependent on her abilities to help her make decisions and it was quickly coming to a point where she was just going to have to wing it without a clue as to what the outcome might be.

Seven hours into the ten hour first leg of their journey, Bella finally slept. She succumbed to the exhaustion of her overwhelming emotions. As they neared Paris, Alice's visions became fewer and farther between and she noticed that bits and pieces began to blank out sooner. In her frustration, she stopped trying to see them. She simply sat and watched Bella's fitful sleep and impatiently awaited their arrival.

Jacob awakened when the plane began its descent to land. He sat up and stretched, trying to reorient himself to what was going on. He was relieved when they were on the ground and he went to find his connecting flight to Florence. As he walked through the terminal, he caught a scent on the air. It was Alice. They must not have been very far in front of him. He felt almost relieved to smell the putrid stench of the leech. At least he knew that he was headed in the right direction. He rounded a corner and saw that his flight was boarding so he rushed up to the Jetway, handed his boarding pass to the young lady standing there, and made his way aboard the aircraft. The whole Jetway reeked of vampire and he had to steel his stomach to keep from getting sick. He found his seat quickly and sat down to put on his seatbelt, while craning his neck to see if Alice and Bella happened to be on the same plane. He couldn't see them, but there was no doubt in his mind that they were there. The odor was too strong for it to be anything else.

Alice, of course, smelled Jacob, too. At first, she thought it might be another werewolf, but they each had a distinct aroma, and this was unmistakably Jacob's. Bella saw that Alice seemed uncomfortable. "What's wrong? Did something happen?" she whispered so only Alice could hear. Alice wasn't sure whether to tell Bella about Jacob's presence or not, but decided that the Cullens had all told Bella far too many lies and it was time for it to stop.

The Jetway pulled away from the plane and the door closed and locked. As they started backing away from the terminal, Alice turned to Bella. "Jacob is on this plane. Did you know he was going to follow us?" Bella was incredulous.

"How do you know he's on here?" She knew it was a stupid question before it came out. She turned around and craned her neck to try and see him, but the curtain between first class and coach was closed.

"I can smell him," Alice hissed.

They decided to wait for him after they disembarked. Alice knew that she needed to keep him away from the castle. Exposing him to the Volturi would help no one, but he was already in Italy and if they didn't talk to him, he would simply follow them right into the lion's den. Jacob found two anxious young women glaring at him as he got off the plane. He shrugged sheepishly before turning his attention to Bella.

"You were right, Bella. I would do the same for any one of the pack, and I would do the same for you. If protecting you means helping you rescue the blo-, Edward, then that's what I'll do." Alice rolled her eyes at his little slip of the tongue, but Bella didn't seem to notice. She was thankful for his effort, however misplaced, but she certainly wasn't going to let him put himself in danger.

"You can come with us as far as the city limits, but then you're going to have to wait in the wings. They can't see you, they can't smell you. I won't have you getting hurt, Jake." He started to argue, but Alice interrupted.

"Can we have this discussion in the car? We don't have time for this!" She grabbed Bella by the hand, leaving Jake to follow on their heels. Alice knew from her visions that Carlisle had purchased them a yellow Porche 911 and arranged to have it waiting for them in the parking lot. Thank goodness she saw it before latest blackout in her visions. Jacob squeezed his large frame into one of the tiny seats in the back and the girls jumped in up front. No sooner had the seatbelt clicked then Alice gunned it, dodging inbetween cars and switching lanes with more precision than Jimmy Johnson.

"You can't expect me to just sit around and wait for you two to come back."

Alice couldn't resist. "Why not, Jake? Isn't that what dogs do? Heel...sit...stay?"

"That's enough, Alice," Bella sharply scolded.

Jacob silently beamed with pride at his girl defending him to the vampire. That was, before she turned back and started talking to him.

"Alice is right. We don't know what we're going to find. You can't follow us. Think about Billy. About Charlie. About the pack. What happens to them if something happens to you?"

"I'm more concerned with what happens to me if something happens to you," he whispered, not liking having to show weakness in front of the vampire. Bella reached out and took his hand.

"I'm going to be okay, Jake. Just promise me you'll let us do this our way."

"Jacob, I don't like admitting this, but I think your presence is causing the blackouts in my visions. If that's true, then Bella will be safer without you there. I'll be able to see what's happening and prevent any disasters before it's too late."

Jacob didn't like this at all. Not one bit. But if holding back could keep Bella safe... "I'll give you half an hour, if you're not back by then, I'm coming after you."

"That's not enough time!" Alice said. "Two hours."

"One hour, and that's my final offer."

"Deal."

After flirting her way past the security guards at the gate, Alice parked her car in an alley furthest from the castle. "I'll carry you as far in as I can before we get to the square," she said to Bella. "From there, it'll be up to you to reach Edward in time. I'll have to stick to the shadows far enough away that he won't be able to smell me and get spooked." Bella nodded and jumped on Alice's back. Jacob watched as they disappeared in a blur.

He started staring at the clock on his cell phone.


	4. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer:** _We don't own Twilight. Ya'll knew that already. This story and any original characters that our twisted little minds might dream up are ours. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without express written authorization. _

**A/N:** _Our humblest thanks to readingtime for beta'ing for us and not killing us and understanding that it is what it is. ;) Also, thanks to Dr Death for letting us share this little story with all of you wonderful readers and for putting the Dr Death Seal of Approval on the twisted plot we've created. Just remember HE paid for this story, lock, stock, and barrel. We don't do anything he didn't approve of ahead of time._

_Thanks to everyone who read and voted for Manhunt! It is a semi-finalist in the Dorchester Next Best Celler Contest and WON the voting round!_

_**Chapter 3**_

Alice set Bella down once they reached a point where they could no longer go unseen. "Do you want to do this yourself or do you want me to go with you? Before I got to Forks, it looked like the outcome was better if you went alone, but that was before..." her voice trailed off. Bella knew what she meant. Before Jacob.

"Well, that's all we have to go on, right? Point me in the right direction."

Alice pointed towards the clocktower. "Run to the clocktower. Edward should be there. His flare for the melodramatic has made him decide to step out into the sunlight at high noon. It's a surefire way to piss off the Volturi and get himself killed without hurting anyone else, except perhaps whatever human happens by and sees the show." Alice shuddered at the recollection from her vision of three figures in black robes pouncing on an unsuspecting family in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Bella ran like she had never run before. She tripped more than once, scraping her knees until they were bloody and bruised. She wasn't concerned with it. If anything, it should help Edward smell her from further away. It seemed like forever before she saw him standing in the shadows of the clocktower, his shirt unbuttoned and billowing in the wind. She was, as she always was, momentarily distracted by his beauty before shaking her head and snapping herself out of it.

"Edward!" she screamed as she ran.

He smiled, his eyes closed, but did not respond, other than to tilt his head up towards the heavens. He slipped the shirt off his back and it fluttered like a silk scarf to the ground.

"Edward! No!" she screamed. She was close, so close. His brow furrowed in confusion. "I'm not dead! Don't do this!" He opened his eyes just in time to see her crash her body into his. He tilted his head and stared at her, slightly dazed, her presence, as welcome as it was, made no logical sense. Rosalie said Bella was dead. She would never be so cruel as to lie about something like that.

"Bella? Is it really you?"

"Yes, Edward," she wheezed, completely out of breath and holding her chest as she leaned on him with her other arm. "It's really me. I'll explain everything, but first we need to get out of here." Edward wrapped his arms around her and hugged her tight.

"It's really you! Oh Bella!"

"Edward, did you miss the part about needing to get out of here?" He reluctantly let her go and bent down to pick up his discarded shirt, throwing it on and quickly buttoning the bottom three buttons.

"Yes, of course. You're quite right. I assume Alice is here with you?"

Bella nodded and bit her lower lip. "Yes, Alice is here, and..." She was interrupted by the presence of four robed vampires, one on each side of them. A little blonde girl stepped forward and dropped her hood.

"So nice to see you again, Edward. I was so hoping you would give me a reason." Edward shuddered, and terror filled her at whatever it was about this little girl with the wicked grin that was bad enough to scare Edward. Alice dropped from the neighboring rooftop and landed catlike behind them, standing up with a confident smile that belied her true feelings.

"Did I miss all the fun?" she asked.

"Not at all," the little girl replied. "We were just getting started." Her tone turned commanding and deadly. "Follow me."

Edward put his arm protectively around Bella's shoulders and drew her to him as they descended into the catacombs beneath the city. It was only then that he noticed the distinct scent all over her. She reeked of werewolf. He turned to Alice slowly, his eyes showing his question and disbelief.

_Yes_, she thought to him with sorrow and regret. Edward's hold on her loosened only slightly.

Meanwhile, Jacob was pacing in front of the Porsche, stalking back and forth. Back and forth. It had been 46 minutes. Close enough, he thought to himself as he took off in the direction of Alice's scent. He lost it at one point and realized she'd probably taken to the rooftops. But then he smelled Bella's blood. He panicked as he ran to it, only then realizing that it was a miniscule amount. She'd fallen, he was certain. He followed the blood spots, like tiny breadcrumbs until he reached the point where he could smell them all. Bella. Alice. And several other vampiric odors he did not recognize, but could safely assume one belonged to Edward. That left four others unaccounted for. Could he really take on four vampires by himself? Hopefully, he wouldn't be by himself, he thought as he jumped into the catacombs after them. Hopefully Edward and Alice will help him.

He changed to wolf form and sprinted through the tunnels, coming out into a large atrium. Behind the small desk was a young woman, who stood and screamed when she saw him. He growled at her, wet and gravelly, as he slowly passed, baring his fangs and causing her to shriek again. He had to hurry. He was certain he had lost all element of surprise already. He raised up on his hind legs and slammed his front paws against the door, swinging them open forcefully as he landed once again on all fours and entered the room. The first thing he saw was Bella. An older appearing vampire with a mildly amused expression was holding her hand. Bella turned towards the noise and gasped when she saw him. She pulled her hand away from the vampire and to her face, gasping in horror.

"No!" she screamed, but it was too late. The door had shut behind him and his stomach dropped as he heard the heavy click of the formidable lock. He now saw Alice and Edward standing off to the side. Alice was shaking her head at him, looking as though she was about to cry. Edward's face was completely expressionless. Jacob turned back to Bella.

"Jake..." Bella pleaded as two vampires in dark robes flanked him.

"What have we here?" the white haired vampire asked, although it didn't appear that he was expecting an answer. "Jake, is it? Interesting..." He turned to Alice and Edward. "Come, one of you, and explain this to me." With great trepidation, Alice walked up and took Aro's hand. Edward cringed as he saw the visions through Aro's mind. Bella jumping off the cliff. Jacob's words to Bella at Charlie's house. Bella telling Jacob she loved him. Asking Alice why Edward would pine after her when he didn't love her. Edward closed his eyes, as if squeezing them shut could keep the images from invading his mind. Keep them from being real.

"I can forgive your indiscretions regarding your Bella, Edward, especially considering her unique ability. Although I daresay you have some work to do if you intend to claim her as your own and have her follow you willingly. She must be changed, though. About this there can be no negotiation."

Before Edward could even protest, Alice answered for him. "We will," she said, and Aro believed her, as he was still holding her hand when the decision caused the vision to flash before both their eyes. Jacob howled, the idea of Bella as a vampire cut him deep. Aro observed him for a moment, then turned to Alice fondly.

"You wouldn't want to join us, would you dearest? Your talent really is remarkable. No? Ah, well, I figured as much. The offer stands should you ever change your mind." He released her and she took Bella by the hand and returned to where Edward was standing. "But this mongrel, on the other hand, I'm afraid will need to be exterminated." Jane smiled and Jacob started whimpering, shaking in pain. Aro nodded to the two vampires on either side of the giant wolf and immediately they both withdrew giant daggers from the folds of their robes, stabbing Jacob repeatedly in the back and sides.

"NO!" Bella screamed and tried to run for him, but Alice grabbed her from behind, held her back. Jacob yelped, much like a dog that had been hit by a car, then collapsed on his side with an echoing thud before shifting into human form. The two hooded men stepped back, and with another nod from Aro, disappeared into the shadows. Alice let go and Bella ran to him, dropping into the puddle of blood that was slowly becoming a stream towards the drain in the middle of the room. She picked up his head and put it in her lap, running her hands along his hair and face. "Jacob, oh God, Jacob! Why didn't you listen! We'd have been on our way back by now..."

Edward watched the scene in horror. Bella, holding her werewolf lover, naked as the day he was born, dying in her arms on the floor of the Volturi throne room while he stood helpless. Her tears fell on Jacob's face as she leaned over him, cooing sweet words to him, telling him that he would be alright when everyone knew it was a lie. Edward forced himself to turn away. It was too painful, too intimate a moment, and he was the last person they would want intruding on it. After all, it was all his fault. All of it.

Jacob used the last of his strength to lift his hand to her face. She leaned into it and he rubbed his thumb along her cheekbone, leaving a bloody smear in its wake. "I love you, Bells. I couldn't let you face this alone. You've faced too much alone already." He sucked in a ragged breath and coughed up blood. Bella wiped it from his lips with the back of her sleeve. She wanted to argue with him, tell him that he was stupid to come after them, that she wasn't alone, but she couldn't do that. She didn't want those to be the last words he heard before he died. She wondered briefly if they could turn him, save him somehow, but one look in Alice's eyes and she had her answer. She turned her eyes back to Jacob, still caressing his face, his chest, his hair, trying to will the wounds to close with her mind. Just before he died, she gave him the words he deserved to hear, and she didn't have to pretend.

"I love you, Jacob Black."

**End Note: **_We are both hiding behind a fireproof barricade sipping chocolate martinis, and awaiting the fallout. Don't throw anything too heavy or we won't be able to finish the story. __ Trust us, it'll be worth sticking around for._

_Do you follow us on Twitter? Look for Miss_Lillie and JuJuRN40, we have tons of fun on there and occasionally post teasers._


	5. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer:** _We don't own Twilight. If you haven't figured that out by now, we don't know what to tell you. This story and any original characters that our twisted little minds might dream up are ours. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without express written authorization. _

**A/N:** _Thank you to readingtime for beta'ing for the two most OCD authors in fan-fiction, and we don't mean Obsessive Cullen Disorder either. This chapter has the Dr Death Seal of Approval, so thanks to him as well. Remember when Lillie said this wasn't a love triangle? Now she's saying "See, I toooold ya!" And now begins the fallout…_

* * *

_**Chapter 4**_

Bella's words thundered in Edward's ears. He was numb. He didn't know what to do or think. He tried to keep his composure, constantly reminding himself that this was his fault. At the same time, his stone heart was breaking into a million pieces at what his own choices had cost him, and Bella. He wanted to tear every one of the Volturi apart for making his Bella sob the way she was. He wanted to go to her and comfort her. He wanted to tear Jacob's body to shreds for… for what? For loving Bella? For following her to Italy? For Bella loving him? All he knew was that he couldn't find fault with Bella.

Bella looked up at the faces of Aro, Caius, and Marcus who were watching her display of grief with great interest.

"You have a diverse set of friends, Isabella," Aro said, tapping his chin with his long bony forefinger.

Bella's anger flashed in her eyes at his callousness. How dare they act as though they hadn't just killed a wonderful, innocent human being for no good reason. No sooner had she decided to give them a piece of her mind, then Alice was beside her, whispering in her ear. "Disrespect or thoughts of revenge will not help anything, Bella. It will only make things worse...for all of us. Please, for all our sakes, remain calm." The idea of Jane causing harm, or even death, to Alice or Edward as they had with Jacob, made her reconsider her actions.

Bella sniffled and asked in a small voice, "Can I… I mean… May I… please… take his body back to his family? He deserves a proper burial. The only reason he was here was to protect me." Her sobs broke out anew and she stroked Jacob's hair.

Aro considered her request briefly before consenting, stating he didn't want to have to dispose of the stinking thing anyway.

Bella choked out a thank you and continued to sob. She didn't even think about Edward watching the scene unfold. Moreover, she didn't care. Jacob had been taken in the most horrific of ways. He hadn't even had a chance to fight back. A million things went through her mind as she held Jacob's head in her arms, his limp, lifeless body sprawled across the floor. Alice, being the only one who was able to think clearly at the moment, asked Aro for permission for them to leave. Aro granted it, stating they needed to wait for full darkness before they made their exit, particularly since they would be carrying the body of the dead dog with them. There might be questions.

Alice pulled Edward over to Bella and asked him to help her with Jacob. The Volturi provided them with some linens to wrap the body in, so they cleaned him up as best they could, wrapped his body, and left the throne room to await darkness so they could leave.

Bella felt like she was in a dream, a very bad one, as she followed Alice out of the throne room and down the long corridors to the area where they would wait for night so they could leave. She knew Edward was behind her, carrying Jacob, but she didn't want to turn around to look. She had only looked at him once since Jacob had died, and that was when he picked Jacob's body up. She could see the tortured pain in his eyes. She wasn't ready to face that. She didn't want to answer his questions. He didn't have any right to be upset with her. After all, he had left. Her emotions roiled through her flitting from one to the next. She went from sad to angry and back again, with every emotion possible in between, in the matter of a few minutes.

Thankfully, they didn't have long to wait for night to come. The three of them sat in silence while they waited, the only sound permeating the air an occasional sob from Bella. Finally, when it was time, they stole out into the night air and Edward carefully put Jacob's body in the trunk of the car, apologizing to Bella that it was the only way for now, and that they would take care of him properly as soon as they could.

When they were all in the car and Volterra was in their rear view mirror, Alice spoke up. "We're going to have to lie to Charlie. We can't tell him how Jacob really died. Do you have any ideas, Edward? I've been going over the scenarios in my mind and each one turns out worse than the last. I've exhausted every possibility I can think of."

"Car accident," Bella croaked from the passenger's seat. Alice looked at her incredulously, wondering why she hadn't thought of that one. She made a decision about telling Charlie it was a car accident and waited for the vision. It was the only thing that would work.

"You're a genius, Bella," Alice said happily when the vision was over.

"I'm practical," Bella retorted, anger lacing her words at Alice's insensitive remark. Alice ignored Bella's angry reply. She knew that Bella's emotions were volatile.

Edward called Carlisle, who was relieved to hear from his son. He explained the situation and Carlisle arranged for a private plane to bring them all back to the U.S. along with a proper casket in which to carry Jacob's body.

The pack, of course, already knew of Jacob's demise, as he had been phased when he was killed. Preparations had already begun on the reservation and they were in full mourning mode. Sam and Paul met Bella, Edward, and Alice at the airport to take Jake's body back to La Push. They were quick to let the vampires know that they weren't there for a fight, they just needed to take Jacob and Bella home. Edward wanted to protest, but Bella wasn't having it. She hugged Alice and thanked her before following the wolves to the beat up Blazer that would carry them all to the reservation. Edward caught up to her just before she climbed in and grabbed her hand.

"Bella… I… well, I wanted to thank you for coming to save me… despite the circumstances. I understand that you may not have wanted to, but…"

"You're welcome, Edward," she cut him off, "And I did want to. Let's talk about it some other time, okay? It's just not… I can't… I don't… I need to focus on Jake right now." And with that, she climbed into the back seat of the Blazer and Sam gunned the engine.

It was a quiet ride back to the house in Forks for Alice and Edward. Alice tried to block her thoughts from her brother, but knew she wasn't doing a very good job of it. Edward was silently contemplative, staring out the window of the car. He was appreciative that Bella and Alice had come to his rescue, but with the current revelation that Bella had moved on and fallen in love with Jacob, he really wasn't sure that saving him was the proper thing to do. He had left her for her own safety, which she endangered once more for his sake. The result? For the second time in his life, Edward had taken away the man that Bella loved. Edward couldn't deny the way his heart was screaming to have her back in his arms, though. His life without Bella had been a sham and now he wasn't sure he would ever win her back, or if he should even try. Was re-entering her life at this point a good idea? Could he stay away? Would she want him to? He would have many things to think about over the next days.

Sam explained to Bella how they knew what had happened, and assured her that they didn't blame her. Jacob had imprinted on her, they had consummated their union. In the eyes of the tribe, she was his mate. A death protecting your mate was an honorable one, worthy of recognition. He told Bella what she already knew, that Jacob's last thoughts had been of his love for her. Sam took Bella to his house in La Push, leaving her with Emily before taking Jacob's body to Billy's so they and the tribal elders could make plans for his burial ceremony. Bella was distraught and he thought that Emily could help her. He asked Emily to explain the traditions and rites that would be observed over the next several days.

Bella was dazed when she was left with Emily. She had no idea what to do and although she had met Emily a few times, she didn't know her well. Emily's voice was soothing and she made sure that Bella ate, as well as got some sleep, before discussing with her how much she wanted to participate in Jacob's death ritual.

Emily provided Bella with a book on Pacific Northwest tribes and their burial rituals, showing her what was common for the Quileute to do. Jacob was the first of his generation of wolves to die protecting his people and his ceremonies would reflect that. He would be sent off to the spirit world as a warrior and would be given the utmost respect. Emily carefully talked Bella through the customs for the widow of the deceased and at some point, Bella accepted all of it and stated that she wanted to do whatever was expected of her, including cutting her hair as an act of mourning.

When Alice and Edward arrived in Forks, Edward jumped in his Volvo that was still in the garage, and headed straight for Charlie's house. Alice knew what he was doing, but was at a loss to stop him. Her visions told her that this wasn't necessarily the best way for him to go about this, but that it was the only way Edward would have it.

Edward knocked on Chief Swan's door and stepped back. He knew that Chief Swan was not going to be happy to see him, particularly since his daughter had gone missing again, and Edward was involved… again.

Charlie threw the door open and glared at Edward. "What the hell do you want?"

"I need to discuss something with you, Chief Swan, sir." Edward felt that the best approach was to remain respectful and try to calm Charlie before talking to him. He could see all of the various scenarios crossing the Chief's mind, and they all ended in him killing Edward. Little did he know, that wasn't going to have a pretty ending.

"What if I don't have anything to discuss with you? Or better yet, maybe I should arrest you for kidnapping my daughter again. Where is she, Edward?"

"She's on her way to La Push, sir. Please, I really need to talk to you about something." Edward could hear in Charlie's thoughts that he was going to let him in, but was remaining ever cautious.

"Fine. Get in here and tell me your version of just what in the Sam Hill is going on around here and when you're done, get the hell out of my house and don't darken my doorway ever again, understood?" Edward nodded and stepped into the house after Charlie stepped aside. Charlie crossed his arms, not moving from the open doorway and waited for Edward's explanation.

"Chief Swan, I would prefer if we sat, is that alright?" Charlie gestured at the living room.

"Whatever. You sit. I'll stand." He was angry, and becoming angrier by the moment. Edward knew he had to make this quick, but he calmly walked over to the loveseat and sat down, looking very human wringing his hands together. Charlie walked to the other end of the living room and stood next to his gun holster, arms still crossed, glaring at Edward, still going over the scenarios of killing Edward in his mind.

"Sir," Edward began, keeping his mind closely in tune with what Charlie's thoughts were, "I have some news for you and not all of it is good."

"I can already tell you that as far as I'm concerned, the bad news is that my daughter is missing again and that you're back in town. What else is there? Get on with it."

"Well, you see, Bella came with Alice to Italy. I was in a bit of… trouble… there, and she came to help me out."

"WHAT?!" Charlie roared. "Italy?! There had better be a damn good explanation for this!"

"Yes, well, I was in some trouble with some of the locals there and was facing a… prison sentence, of sorts, so Bella and Alice came and helped me out of the situation I was in. The problem is that, although Bella is safe, and I've been safely delivered from my problems, Jacob followed her to Italy, concerned for her welfare, and was killed in a car accident while following her. This is why Bella is on her way to La Push. She is with Sam, helping him to return Jacob's body to Billy and the tribe for proper burial. I'm sure she'll be getting in touch with you soon, but I wanted to come over here and explain myself and let you know that I accept full responsibility. Please don't put the blame for any of this on Bella. This is all my fault."

"You're god damned right about that. It is most certainly all your fault. Do you have any idea what you did to Bella when you left? Do you know what hell she's gone though? It's only been recently that she finally was able to pull herself out of the funk and go on with her life. She and Jacob were just getting close. Jesus Christ, how bad are you trying to screw things up for her, Edward?" Charlie paused for a second as the rest of Edward's words sunk in. "Jacob's dead?! God damn it! I need to get to Billy's! Get the hell out of here and don't come back." Charlie stormed upstairs to change his clothes, leaving Edward sitting on the loveseat in his living room.

Edward looked around at the house and realized that absolutely nothing about it had changed since the last time he had been in it to take away Bella's pictures of him and any other reminders of him that she had in her room. He inhaled her beautiful scent that wafted through every part of the house, and in the air, he smelled the distinct odor of werewolf. He analyzed the smells further, and realized that he could smell the scent of Jacob and Bella's last rendezvous still lingering. He felt nauseous and let himself out of the house at vampire speed, roaring out of the driveway in the Volvo, squealing the tires halfway down the block to get away from there.

What the hell have I done? He thought.

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End Note:

_We've collected all the rocks and have recovered from our bruises from last chapter. OKAY… honestly, it wasn't as bad as we feared, so thank you for trusting us. It's only going to get better._

_Do you follow us on Twitter? Look for Miss_Lillie and JuJuRN40, we have tons of fun on there and occasionally post teasers._


	6. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: Twilight, we don't own. Everything else is ours. Please don't copy it without permission.

A/N from Lillie: Okay, first I have to say that after watching New Moon, I'm feeling a little bad about killing off Jacob. I've never been Team Jacob, or Team Taylor for that matter, but I've got to give credit where credit is due. Taylor Lautner and Chris Weitz managed to change my mind. They did a great job making me feel really bad for Jake, which is something the books couldn't even accomplish.

Thanks, as always, to readingtime, who is not only my beta, but my fashion and music guru. She is my Alice, and I love her for it. Oh, and I've been told to issue a tissue warning with this chapter.

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The next two days were a blur to Bella. She was thankful that she was so busy coordinating with the pack and the tribal elders in preparation for Jacob's funeral that she really hadn't had time for things to sink in. Whenever she had a moment's pause, the numbness would start to fade and the pain in her chest, so reminiscent of when Edward left, would come back full force.

The first order of business was the ceremony itself. Sam and Bella met with the elders and scoured the tribe's historical records to design a ceremony that was in keeping with the warriors and wolves of generations past. They even pulled ideas from neighboring tribes. More than anything, Bella wanted the ceremony to be reflective of every aspect of Jacob - the son, the friend, the lover, the wolf, the hero. When all the pieces were in place, everyone, even Billy and Charlie, thought it would be perfect.

The next order of business was dealing with the Cullens. Alice called Bella and asked that the family be allowed to attend the services, so they too could pay tribute to the man who helped save one of their own. Bella passed the message on to Sam, then let him take it from there. She was just not ready to deal with them yet.

Although Sam kept it from Bella, there were those on the reservation who wanted nothing more than to see the Cullens dead in retribution for Jacob's death. Billy had even suggested allowing them on their land to attend Jacob's funeral and setting a trap for them.

Finally, Sam put his foot down. He said that Jacob went to Italy to protect and rescue not only his mate, but Edward as well, and that to kill Edward would mean that Jacob's sacrifice was for nothing, and that was simply not something he was willing to accept. Using his authority as Alpha, Sam met with Carlisle and they came to a compromise. Alice and Edward would be allowed to attend the memorial services, which included memorials on the first and second anniversary of Jacob's death. Carlisle thanked him profusely and vowed the Cullens' support should the pack ever require it, an offer which Sam both accepted and returned.

The morning of the funeral, Bella found herself sitting at Emily's table, drinking coffee and gnawing on a muffin.

"Emily," Bella asked hesitantly. "Sam said that Jacob had imprinted on me. How does he know that?"

"From the pack connection. He heard it in Jacob's thoughts, felt what Jacob felt."

Bella nodded her head. "I get that. What I mean is, how does he know that for sure? Isn't imprinting supposed to be a two way thing?"

Emily smiled knowingly. "It is a two way thing, Bella, but that doesn't mean that music automatically starts playing in the background and the smell of flowers fills the air. Let me give you the perfect example - Sam and I. When Sam first imprinted on me, he was with Leah, and he loved her with all his heart. He had every intention of someday marrying her, having kids with her, growing old with her. Sam was so torn when he imprinted. Leah tells everyone that he just dumped her for me, and I don't argue because I realize she's hurt and has been made bitter by it, and I don't blame her. When Sam first saw me and imprinted, he loved me, instantly. But he still loved Leah. And I loved him, although I lied to myself about it for a while, quite effectively, too, I might add. I was torn between my feelings for Sam and my loyalty to Leah.

I would imagine that it would have been similar in some ways for you and Jacob. I believe, upon reflection, you will realize just how much you loved Jacob. Like Sam, you were conflicted between who you believe to be the love of your life and your imprint. If Jake were still alive, I imagine you would have fought the imprint for a while, felt just as conflicted as Sam and I did, but eventually, Jacob would have won. You would have come to terms with the undeniable pull he had on you. "

Bella nodded her head, more to acknowledge that she was still listening than in agreement. She did love Jake, she was sure of it. But the rest, she wasn't so sure about. Emily sighed and continued.

"In some ways, your situation is unique. You and Jake knew each other before he became a wolf. He already loved you, and the imprint only served to increase that love exponentially for him. But for you, you cared for Jacob as a friend before the imprint, so I can see where the imprint might have confused you, made you wonder if what you were feeling was still platonic."

"He was more than a friend. He was my savior. I was in such a dark place in my life after Edward left me. Jacob gave me light and warmth and happiness. Even before Alice showed up, I was terrified that any alteration to our relationship would jeopardize that. I wouldn't have survived if Jake left me, too." Bella hung her head and whispered, "I'm still not sure I can."

"He was your Qahla."

"My what?" Bella asked.

"Qahla. It is a Quileute word for 'sun'."

"Yes," Bella agreed enthusiastically. "I'd even told him before that he was my own personal sun."

Emily stood up and took their empty mugs to the sink, then turned back to Bella. She'd only known her a few days, yet she felt such a kinship with her. Emily hoped that Bella would continue to be a part of their lives.

"Get through today, Bella, then allow yourself to grieve. But try to remember, Jacob wouldn't want you to go back to that abyss he struggled so hard to pull you from."

Bella nodded once more. Sam came in, dressed in a suit and tie, but wearing a tribal necklace around his neck. He gathered Bella in his arms and hugged her. She whimpered, realizing how much she had missed the almost-too-warm feeling of a werewolf embrace.

"Guess it's time to go," she asked against his chest. Sam bent down and kissed the top of her head.

"Yes. Are you ready?"

"Almost," Emily answered for her. She stood behind Bella and gathered her hair in a loose ponytail at the nape of her neck, tying it off with a leather ribbon. "Now we're ready."

They were all quiet while Sam drove them to First Beach, each absorbed in their own thoughts. Bella mentally rehearsed her part, praying that she wouldn't mess it up, or break down before it was over.

When they emerged from the trail that led to the beach, Bella realized that most everyone was already there. Charlie was standing with Billy, a plywood platform set up from the trail to the water, and also to where everything was set for the bonfire, so Billy could navigate his way around in his wheelchair. Most of the other tribal members were around them, some faces Bella vaguely recognized, some she'd never met.

Across from them, putting a healthy distance between them, were Alice and Edward, both wearing black and holding their hands in front of them in silence. Edward's eyes darted to hers the moment she stepped on the beach, she smiled sadly but turned away quickly. While she didn't want to blame him, a part of her did. If it weren't for him, Jacob would still be alive. Bella was not prepared to deal with the conflicted and raging emotions seeing Edward brought out in her. Besides, today wasn't about Edward. It was about Jacob.

Closer to shore was the pack, each dressed as Sam was, in suit and tie, but wearing a leather-and-bead necklace that Bella knew labeled them as warriors, and bare feet. Sam took off his socks and shoes and handed them to Emily, who placed them in a bag she'd brought along specifically for that purpose. He kissed her and wiped a tear from her eye, then squeezed Bella's hand before leading her to join the pack by the water.

There, tied to a post, was a canoe. Hanging off the front peak was a dream catcher. The entire edge of the canoe was covered in a garland of flowers, and inside, on a soft bed of hay covered with a handmade blanket made by the elder women of the tribe, lay Jacob. Bella smiled at how, even in death, he was beautiful. He was dressed in a black suit, with a warrior necklace that was more ornate than the rest of the tribe.

_Emily was right, Jake. Although I still love Edward, I do love you, so much. I love you, and I will miss you every single day. _

Sam waited for Bella to have her moment alone with Jacob before beginning the service. When Bella looked up at him and nodded, he turned to the crowd.

"We have come here today to recognize and honor the first warrior of my generation to die protecting his people. Jacob Black was by far the bravest, strongest, and most honorable among us. His last thoughts were to protect his mate and all those she loved. It did not matter to him that included in that list were those he would otherwise consider an enemy. It did not occur to him that he might not survive. His only focus was on his duty to his people and his love. He could not have died a more honorable death. His name will be passed on for generations as a symbol of the type of hero we should all aspire to be." Sam turned towards the canoe and placed his tribute next to Jacob. They each had their own tribute, based on either tradition or personal sentiment. No one discussed what they had chosen. It was private, between them and Jake.

Bella turned to the crowd next, focusing on Emily, who smiled in encouragement. "Jacob Black was my best friend. He was my Qahla, my personal sun. He was my hero, my warrior, my savior. He was my imprint, my mate, in every way that mattered." Bella knew that Charlie understood the implication, and blushed at the public admission of their intimacy, but she felt it was important to acknowledge that she was not being treated as his mate just because he had a crush on her. Sam unsheathed a knive, razor sharp with an ornate handle, and placed it in Bella's two open hands. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Alice restrain Edward, whose gut reaction was to stop her from causing herself bodily harm.

Bella reached behind her and grabbed her ponytail with her left hand, her pinky finger lined up with the leather, and pulled it taut away from her body. She reached behind her with her right hand, and with only one or two sawing motions, cut her ponytail off. Edward and Alice both gasped audibly at the action, but she ignored it.

She turned to Jacob, and laid the ponytail by his side, then reached inside her coat pocket and pulled out her tribute, a can of soda wrapped in a paper bag. No one else would possibly understand, but Jake would. She was telling him how precious every moment she spent with him was, even if it was just hanging out in the garage, talking and drinking warm soda.

One by one the rest of the pack quietly said their goodbyes and placed their tribute in the canoe, followed by Billy. Then the rest of the congregation passed by, whispering their goodbyes to Jacob, some touching his hand reverently before making way for the next in line. Alice and Edward waited until everyone else had passed before hesitantly approaching. Paul growled lowly but Sam reprimanded him with a glare. Edward and Alice pretended not to notice.

Alice approached Jacob first, and spoke in a voice too low for anyone but the pack to hear. "Jacob, I know that in our brief conversations, we didn't get along, and I'm sorry for every dog joke I made about you. You were not a mongrel, you were the noblest of beasts. I am honored to have known you."

Edward approached next. "Jacob, you and I were more than mortal enemies by nature, we were rival suitors, a far more volatile relationship. Even before I left, I knew your feelings for Bella from your thoughts. Part of me hoped that you would help her when I left, make her happy and keep her safe in a way I failed to. And you did, and for that I am grateful. I, like the pack, was blessed by knowing your last thoughts, and I will carry them with me always. You died protecting her, and me, and I am forever in your debt. Goodbye, Jacob Black."

After Edward stepped away, the pack waded into the water on both sides of the canoe. Sam untied its tether before joining them. They walked the canoe out until they were all waist high and past the crashing of the waves before pushing it out to sea.

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So what did you think of the funeral? We used a combination of several tribal ceremonies, mixed with a litte of our imagination. What would your tribute have been?


	7. Chapter 6

_**Disclaimer: **__While we don't own the characters, we own this story. Please don't steal our shit._

_**A/N: **__Happy New Year everyone!_

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Bella remained in La Push for one last night to conclude the memorial service by attending the bonfire where the mourners would all come together, eat Native food, dance Native dances, and share stories about Jacob. Once the traditional celebrations had concluded, the crowd thinned and Bella wandered down the beach a ways to spend some time in solitude, thinking over the events of the last week. She sat alone on a rock watching the bonfire at a distance, an occasional tear rolling down her face. All of the emotions that she had bravely kept at bay seemed to be crashing down all around her and suddenly she wanted nothing more than to just be alone and grieve.

Emily kept a watchful eye on Bella, not wanting to intrude on her private time, but wanting to be available to her should she be needed. Emily had spent a great deal of time during the past week trying to put herself in Bella's shoes, wondering how she would feel if it had been Sam rather than Jacob. Emily knew, without a doubt, how difficult that would be for her.

"I brought you a plate. You haven't eaten much today." Bella nodded and scooted over so that Emily could sit next to her.

"Thanks," Bella said in a near whisper.

Emily sat down next to Bella and handed her the plate, which Bella picked at for a few minutes in silence. Emily reached up and ran her fingers through Bella's now short hair. "It'll grow back, you know."

"I don't care if it does or not," Bella said, putting the plate down on the sand next to her feet. "Sorry, I'm just not very hungry."

In the distance, Paul, Jarrod, and Embry were telling a funny story about Jake, becoming louder and more animated as the tale gained momentum. Emily shook her head and rolled her eyes. "I wonder if they'll ever grow up," she mused.

"I sure hope not," Bella responded.

They continued to sit in amiable silence watching the pack milling around the fire while someone strummed a guitar. It was surreal for Bella. She found herself wondering what Edward was doing after he left the memorial service and immediately felt guilty for even letting his name float through her mind.

Now that the Cullens had all returned to Forks, Bella's life was going to be complicated. She had a real connection with the pack. They were all her friends. She didn't want to lose those friendships just because the Cullens were back. Besides, it would feel as though she were betraying Jacob if she abandoned his friends and family after his death.

Sam jogged down the beach and indicated to Emily that she should return to the festivities, so she hugged Bella and kissed Sam on the cheek before heading back to the bonfire, pushing Embry's shoulder and knocking him off balance playfully as she passed by. Sam took Emily's place next to Bella and took her hand. Bella turned to him and the tears began to flow freely as she looked up into his face.

"He's not coming back, is he, Sam? I mean, he's gone, forever, and if it hadn't been for me running-"

Sam cut her off quickly. "Bella, Jacob made his own decision to follow you. He was protecting you. Don't even start with blaming yourself because you're not going to get anywhere with me that way. I saw it all, I was as good as there. I just came over here to talk to you about the Cullens for a minute."

Sam hadn't brought the Cullens up to Bella since she had asked him to deal with their request to attend Jacob's memorial service. She had no idea what arrangements had been made other than knowing that Alice and Edward had been granted permission to attend and that they had both said some very nice things to Jacob when saying goodbye to him. She listened carefully as Sam told her how he had pulled rank as Alpha and gone against the Tribal Elders' wishes when he met with Carlisle. He also explained to her that the treaty had been renegotiated, to a certain extent, and that allegiances had been drawn between the two groups. What he tried to get across to her was that she was free to be friends with the pack as well as the Cullens and that no retribution for Jacob's death would be brought against the Cullens. When he was finished, Bella expressed her most heartfelt thanks to Sam for dealing with the situation and being open minded. After their talk, Sam insisted that Bella come back to the bonfire with him. He could tell that she was cold in the night air so far away from the fire.

The gathering went on late into the night and the pack boys were extremely entertaining. It wasn't hard to see that they needed to get out and stretch their legs a bit, try and shake the melancholy feelings of the day. Sometime in the early morning hours, Sam took Bella and Emily to his house and dropped them off before taking off with the pack to patrol the perimeter for a few hours to ensure that everything was as it should be.

When the ringing of the telephone awakened her the next day, Bella opened her eyes and looked at her surroundings, disoriented at first. She had dreamed of Jacob throughout the night and feared that going home today was going to be difficult at best for her. She hadn't been back to her house, or her room, since the last time she and Jacob had been there together. The sun shone brightly through the windows and she wondered what time it was. As she lay there trying to wake up, she heard Emily speaking softly into the telephone in the kitchen.

"I just checked on her a few minutes ago and she was still asleep, but when she wakes up I will be sure to tell her you called. Yes, her cell is turned off for now. She needed the rest. Sure. You're welcome. Bye, now."

Bella made her way into the kitchen where she found Emily humming to herself as she stirred a pot of stew. Emily heard Bella come in and welcomed her to the land of the living at two in the afternoon. Bella was stunned at how late she had slept. She just felt so exhausted and emotional. Emily sat a steaming cup of hot tea in front of her and sat down across the table.

"That was Edward on the phone. He would like for you to call him today. I promised him I would pass along the message, and so I have," Emily said, looking slightly uncomfortable. "Your cell phone is next to the front door. It was chirping this morning so I took it out of your jacket pocket and turned it off."

"Thanks," was all Bella could say. She was irritated. Why couldn't Edward just leave her alone right now? What was the point in his calling her? Could he not exercise some patience and wait until she was ready to talk to him? She sipped on the tea and finally decided that she couldn't procrastinate the inevitable any longer. "I've got to get home, Emily. I'm sure Charlie wants to talk to me. I owe him some sort of explanation and I've avoided him long enough."

Emily nodded. "Your truck is outside. The boys retrieved it from Forks this morning. I guess the Cullens brought it back from Seattle and left it at your dad's place."

A couple of hours later, Bella found herself on the road between La Push and Forks. Her anxiety level increased with every mile she got further away from La Push, the pack, and closer to Forks, Charlie, her house, and Edward. She pulled over to the side of the road about halfway home and took some deep breaths, trying to keep the tears at bay. It didn't work. They came anyway. She let herself cry for several minutes before pulling herself together. She pulled her cell phone from her pocket and turned it on, taking another deep breath as she did so. She had several missed calls from Edward, Alice, and Charlie, a few voicemails, and text messages from Edward. She deleted the texts without reading them and then scrolled through her contact list to Alice's number.

Alice's voice on the other end made her feel only slightly better. "Bella? Are you okay? I just saw you sitting on the side of the road crying."

"Yeah, Alice. I'm fine, thanks. Listen, I know Edward wants to talk to me, but…"

"It's fine, Bella. I'll tell him. Just be careful on the rest of your drive home. Charlie is anxiously awaiting your arrival."

Bella couldn't help but chuckle slightly. Now that she was no longer on the reservation, Alice could see her again. She had to admit, it was good to have Alice back, even if that meant that Edward was back as well. After hanging up, she pulled back onto the highway and continued her journey back to Forks with trepidation.

Charlie met Bella at the door, stepping aside so she could get in the house. "It's good to have you home, Bells."

"Thanks, Dad."

Bella hung her coat and sat down on the couch. She knew that going directly to her room and closing the door wasn't going to cut it with the Chief. Charlie took up residence in his recliner across from her and turned the TV off before looking at her directly and saying, "Are you ready to explain to me exactly what's been going on the last two weeks?"

"I'm sorry, Dad," was all that Bella could get out before the tears overwhelmed her again. She then went about telling the rehearsed lie, hoping that Charlie wouldn't see right through it.

Charlie contemplated Bella's words, remaining silent until she was finished with her story. Finally, he got up and walked over to her, sitting down next to her on the sofa. He patted her on the back awkwardly and told her how sorry he was that she had lost Jacob. Bella blew her nose loudly in the ragged tissue she had been wadding in her hand.

Charlie continued softly, "Bells, the only part of this that I don't understand is why you took off with Alice the minute she arrived to chase after Edward. I thought… you were… with Jacob. Didn't you consider his feelings at all?"

"I don't know what to say, Dad. It's complicated. I… Edward was in trouble, and I was the only one who could help him. It didn't mean that I loved Jacob any less, I just… I don't know. I'm sorry." She collapsed into tears again and Charlie put his arm around her. Bella leaned into his shoulder and sobbed quietly.

~*~

Edward clicked off his cell phone and growled in frustration. Alice, Carlisle, and Esme all tried to placate him, but he could not be reasoned with. He wanted to see Bella, to talk to her. He wanted to know where he stood and what to expect. Patience wasn't one of his greatest gifts and when it came to the situation at hand, it was almost non-existent. Alice reminded him that he was being selfish, but he wouldn't listen. He paced the house, nearly wearing a hole in the floor.

"Edward, she doesn't want to talk to you right now. Just give her some space," Alice shot at her brother while he paced the floor and nervously ran his fingers through his hair.

"I just need to know that she's alright, Alice," Edward responded with desperation in his voice.

No matter how much Alice tried to assure Edward that Bella was home and fine, he could barely resist the urge to go to her and try to comfort her. He couldn't even find it in him to be angry with her for sleeping with Jacob. He had already convinced himself that it was his own doing and he couldn't take it back no matter what. However, the selfish monster inside him still wanted Bella to be his, now more than ever, because he was back in Forks and she had come to save him. He knew that she still had feelings for him, but he wasn't sure that he should act on those feelings. He had never been so confused in all of his vampiric existence and Edward didn't like being that out of control.

Carlisle was already back at work at Forks Community Hospital. They had welcomed him back with open arms. Esme had spent the week getting their house put back together while Alice and Jasper had spent most of their time monitoring Edward in his self-loathing, angsty state.

~*~

When Bella finally entered her bedroom that night, a new wave of sorrow washed over her, paralyzing her. She looked down at the unmade bed and could see herself there, her body entwined with Jacob's. She could see his bronzed skin, his muscles rippling, smell his woody smell. She winced and went to the window, firmly locking it and closing the curtains. She turned back to the bed and without notice, anger replaced the sorrow. She ripped the sheets off the bed, discarding them unceremoniously in a pile on the floor. She stomped over to her closet and started tearing things out of it, searching for her other set of sheets. She was so engrossed in her task that she barely heard the soft knock at her bedroom door.

Bella threw the door open and glared at her father. He stood there looking a little sheepish and handed her phone to her. "Someone called," he said softly. "You left it on the couch. Everything okay?"

Bella tossed the phone on her desk and rounded on her dad. "Where're my sheets? I need to change the bed," she said in a strangled voice.

Charlie regarded her silently for a moment before turning to the linen closet outside her bedroom door, grabbing a fresh set of sheets and a blanket, and handing them to her. He didn't take his eyes off her as he reached down and grabbed the discarded ones on the floor and turned to leave. He reached back to close her bedroom door and stopped, inhaling a deep breath before turning back to her. "If you need to talk, Bells, I'm here." He closed the door quietly and left Bella standing there stunned.

Bella stood staring silently at the closed door of her room. Suddenly her anger broke and was replaced by sorrow again. She collapsed onto the floor, sobbing into her hands.

Bella refused to leave her bed for the next two days. She laid there and stared at the wall when she was awake and slept the rest of the time. Sometimes, when she was awake, she would plead for Jacob to come back, asking God, or anyone, to take her instead. Sometimes she would cry. Sometimes she was angry. And sometimes she was just numb. Charlie brought her soup and tea and tried to talk to her, but she turned away from him every time he entered the room. She let the battery on her cell phone die and she didn't plug it in. Bella simply allowed herself to wallow in her grief and despair.

On the third day, Bella was lying in her bed, staring at the ceiling, trying to decide whether she wanted to get up or not, when a familiar voice rang out in the hallway. "I know you're in there, Bella. I'm coming in!" Alice sang.

Bella rolled her eyes and cringed. Alice was the one person she couldn't hide from. Alice would know that she was burying herself in grief, guilt, and self-pity. Alice also wouldn't allow that for very long.

Alice threw open the door to Bella's room and flipped on the light. It was bright and Bella squeezed her eyes closed, pulling the covers over her head, while waiting for Alice to pounce. Alice rolled her eyes and fixed her hands on her hips. She wasn't about to let Bella lay there any longer.

"That's enough, Bella. Get up. You stink," she said, without any fanfare, and pulled the covers off the bed. "Come on, time for a shower." Alice grabbed Bella's hand and pulled her out of bed. Bella felt like a zombie, but followed Alice, begrudgingly, to the bathroom.

Alice considered putting Bella inside the bathroom, closing the door, and leaving her, but decided against it. She closed the lid to the stool and motioned for Bella to sit while she busied herself turning on the shower, finding clean towels, helping Bella undress, and putting her in the shower. Alice talked the entire time about nothing in particular. She didn't expect Bella to answer her, she just chattered so that Bella would hear her voice.

As the hot water spilled over her body, Bella began to loosen up and noted all of the aching places in her body from lying in bed for so long. Alice turned her around and washed her hair for her, talking incessantly all the while about getting back to school. With no argument from Bella, when the shower was over, Alice led her out and thrust two fluffy towels at her. Finally, Alice said, "Charlie called me."

Bella looked at her incredulously. "He what?"

"Charlie called me. He was worried about you," Alice shrugged.

"I'm _fine_," Bella snarled as she stomped out of the bathroom and back to her room. Bella didn't quite know what she was angry about, but knew that she was. She sat on the edge of the bed, arms crossed across her chest, a towel on her head and a towel wrapped around her body. She watched Alice as she dug through her drawers and closet, looking for clothes for her.

"God, Bella, it looks like a hurricane went through your bedroom." Alice knew that Bella wasn't herself. She also knew that Bella was having conflicting feelings about Jacob's death, Edward, and everything in between. She tossed some clothes on the bed next to Bella, and stood leaning against the closed closet door, waiting for Bella to dress.

"Do I have an appointment?" Bella asked. Alice looked impatient, but Bella wasn't too anxious to go anywhere.

"We're spending the day together and I'm anxious to get started," Alice answered casually.

Bella took a deep breath and got dressed, knowing it wouldn't be of any use to argue. After all, Alice was right. It was time for her to stop wallowing and start living. What would Jacob think of her lying in bed feeling sorry for herself for days on end? He wouldn't have liked it at all. It was exactly the type of thing that he had worked at for months to get her to stop doing in the first place. Bella finally became determined that she wasn't going to let this ruin her. It was time for her to get out of bed and join the land of the living again. It wouldn't be easy, but Jacob's death was not going to be an excuse for her to let herself die inside.

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End Note:

_Wow, so this story is pretty serious, eh? In light of that fact, we've decided to borrow the naked chocolate covered Emmett that Lillie has posted over at ALIL and let him stand guard here, granting special favors to all those who review. That's worth one, right?_


	8. Chapter 7

A/N: We promise we don't owe Stephenie money. Please don't copy our story. Thanks to Dr. Death for intentionally trying to make us write a story he thought we'd hate. Turns out he was wrong, we're rather attached to this one now. :)

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_**Chapter 7**_

"So...ummm...how are you?" Alice asked once they got settled into the car, sounding uncharacteristically nervous and unsure of herself.

"Fine," Bella replied, not even really sure why she was asking that question. Wouldn't she already know?

"No, really, I want to know. All my visions of you since the funeral have been very fuzzy, and the things I have seen have been very depressing, to be honest. I'm worried about you."

"I'm sorry I'm depressing you, Alice. We can just turn around if you like, there's no reason to put yourself through this," Bella replied acidly.

Alice looked rebuked. "No, no, that's not what I meant. I just mean...I don't know what I mean. Never mind." The silence hung in the air for a few minutes while Bella tried to articulate what she wanted to say.

"Have you ever lost someone close to you? I mean, everyone in _your_ world lives forever, and you don't remember your human life. I don't see how you could possibly understand what I'm going through. One minute, I feel like I'm okay, I tell myself that life goes on and I can handle it. The next moment I'm crying hysterically over the stupidest things. The hole in my chest when Edward left, when you all left, was hard enough, but deep down in the pit of my stomach I had hope. Hope that you would come back, apologize for abandoning me the way you did and welcome me back into your life with open arms. With Jacob, there is no hope, no lie I can tell myself to make myself believe that there is. He's dead, and he's never coming back. All I can do is try and find a way to convince myself that tomorrow will be a better day, that life without him will get a little bit easier."

"I had a hole in my chest when we left, too, Bella. I know that doesn't make it easier on you, nor does it earn your forgiveness for what I did, what we all did when we agreed to abide by Edward's wishes, but it's true. I just thought you should know. I missed you every second of every day, and I mean that literally. If there was any way you could find it in yourself to forgive me, welcome me back into your life...you've given me my brother back, now all I need is my best friend and sister back. I know it's too soon to ask."

Bella sighed and reached over to take Alice's hand. "You're going to have to let me do this my way. Baby steps. I don't trust you right now. I almost feel as though you're an illusion, that if I stare at you too long you're going to disappear. And I'm angry. If it weren't for the fact that you needed me for something, I might have never seen you again. Plus, with Jacob...I don't have the strength or energy to deal with much else on top of it. But I'm trying, I mean, I'm here, right?"

Alice smiled and squeezed Bella's hand. "Yes, you are. Thank you for coming." Bella nodded and went back to staring out the window. After a while, Alice tried to start up conversation again.

"You really loved him, didn't you?" she asked quietly.

Bella's head whipped around to look at Alice, a fierce look on her face that caught Alice off guard to the point she actually jumped a little.

"What are you really asking me, Alice? Are you asking me if he replaced your brother's place in my heart? No, he didn't. No one, not even Jacob could do that. Then again, there is a place in my heart for Jacob that no one can ever replace, either, not even Edward. Things aren't always black or white, Alice."

"No, they're not. I know that better than most. I am, at my core, a monster. I feed on the living to sustain my own life. But it is not what defines me. It may be part of who I am, but it is not all of me. In fact, it is in stark contradiction to the rest of me, as it is for all of my family. I may have only loved one man in my life, but believe me when I tell you I understand fully all the shades of gray."

"I'm sorry, Alice. I didn't mean to snap at you. I probably seem even crazier than usual. I'm glad Jasper's not around, I would probably make him sea-sick with all my rapidly changing emotions right now." Bella cracked a smile and both girls had a much needed laugh.

"How is he?" Bella asked when the chuckling died down.

"He...as in Edward?" Alice pursed her lips. "To be honest with you, I didn't intend to talk about Edward today. I think that I let his relationship with you define my relationship with you far too much before, a mistake I don't intend to repeat." Bella's smile warmed as Alice earned a few points towards regaining Bella's trust with that sentence. "But since you asked, I'll tell you. He's miserable, and he's driving us all crazy. Rosalie even offered to buy him a first class ticket back to Italy so he could try again." Bella looked appalled. "She was being sarcastic, I assure you. She may be a royal bitch sometimes, but she loves her family fiercely. It was just her way of telling him to snap out of it."

"Why is he so miserable? He keeps calling and texting and calling some more. He's not taking the silent hint that I need some time before I talk to him."

"Oh, he heard the hint. That's exactly why he's miserable! Despite the fact that he will hopefully live forever, patience is not one of his virtues, as you probably know. He's feeling guilty over everything that's happened from your birthday party on, and has an irresistible urge to somehow make it right by you, or at least apologize repeatedly until you want to punch him out. Don't do that, by the way. I've already seen it and it'll cause Carlisle a heck of a time trying to piece the broken bones in your hand back together again."

Bella laughed, really laughed, for the first time since Jacob died. Alice pulled up to the spa and turned off the car. It died the second Bella saw where they were.

"Alice, no. I don't feel right being pampered, not when Jake..." Bella's voice cracked and her body shook as she tried to fight off the tears.

"Jake would be thrilled to see you doing something nice for yourself. He can't pamper you anymore. You have to do it for him for now." Bella sniffled a deep, wet breath and finally agreed.

"Nothing painful. Promise," Bella commanded.

Alice resisted rolling her eyes. "Just a massage, I promise. It'll do you good."

Bella was engulfed in the smell of the ocean, and sandalwood, and something else that she couldn't quite name but that for some reason reminded her of Jacob as she entered the dimly lit room. The masseuse took his time, addressing every one of Bella's knots while the aromatherapy carried her to a peaceful state of mind, free for once of her painful thoughts.

Two hours later, Bella met Alice in the saltwater hot tub for a post-massage soak. "Thank you, Alice. It really did help." Alice just nodded and tried not to give off that annoying 'I told you so' vibe.

Afterwards, Alice took Bella to a tapas restaurant, knowing she needed to eat but still didn't have much appetite. The conversation flowed a little easier. Alice filled Bella in on all the goings on with the family, and Bella shared stories about Jacob and all their friends at school.

Bella was so relaxed as they returned home that she dozed off, proud of herself for going on an outing with Alice and returning without even a single bag. She woke up just before they got back to her house. She was confused at the angry look on Alice's face, at least, she was until she saw the Volvo in the parking lot, and Edward sitting on the porch waiting for them.

Surprisingly, Alice's anger seemed to help damper Bella's own. "It's alright, Alice. I've put this off long enough. I'd hate for Rosalie to have to suffer any more on my account," she teased. Alice smiled at her and gave her a big hug.

"Call me tomorrow, or whenever you want, Bella. I'm here for you, always," Alice stressed, and Bella almost believed her. They said their goodbyes and Bella got out and prepared to face the music.

"Edward, what are you doing here?" Bella asked, desperation and defeat both tainting her voice.

"You didn't return my calls. Everyone said you just needed time, but I just couldn't help it. I needed to see for myself that you're okay." Bella sighed and sat down next to him on the porch.

"I'm okay."

"Bella, I'm so sorry..." Bella cut him off.

"Don't. Please, Edward? Just don't. Don't sully his memory with hollow apologies. Those words aren't meant to make me feel better, they're made to make you feel better, assuage your own sense of guilt."

"Nothing will assuage my guilt, Bella, not that I would want it to. I am fully aware that if it weren't for me, Jacob would still be alive. I know the depth of your sacrifice for my sake. I don't want forgiveness, I only want to make you feel better, and if apologies won't do that, what will? I want to be there for you, Bella. Just tell me what to do. I don't know what to do." His voice sounded so quiet and lost, almost childlike, as he begged her to show him the path she wanted him to take.

"Can you be my friend? That's all I can offer you right now, Edward, and I'm not even sure about that, but for you I'm willing to try."

Edward sat and considered her words. It wasn't what he wanted. He knew in his heart that he wanted her back in his arms, not that he deserved her, but it was what he wanted nonetheless. He wanted to be surrounded by her warmth and her scent and her love and never move again. But he knew that it couldn't be about him and what he wanted or needed. This time, it had to be about Bella. "Yes, Bella, I think I can do that."

Bella nodded her head in confirmation and acceptance. "Rule Number One," she begins.

"There are rules to friendship?" Edward asked, one side of his mouth turned up in a slight grin.

"There are to ours," Bella explained. "Rule Number One - There is a one phone call limit per day. No more calling my phone fifty times a day. And no more than three texts a day." Edward knew that one would be hard for him, but began making a mental list as to how he could get around it.

"Alright then," he replied, "Rule Number Two - No more ignoring me for days or weeks at a time and driving me mad with worry. There is a one text _minimum_ per day from you, even if it's just to say 'I'm alive, don't bug me,' okay?"

Bella nodded. "I can do that. Rule Number Three - No more telling my friends what they can or can't do when it comes to me, even if those friends are your family. Oh, and Rule Number Four - no reading said friends' minds to get info on me. If you want to know something about me, ask me." Edward knew he'd been busted on how he knew how to catch Bella off guard and had the good sense to look chagrined.

Edward started to get into the spirit of the game, even if he didn't like the rules. "Fair enough. I get two more rules, then, hmmm? I think I will save them for now, reserve the right to use them at a later date." Bella rolled her eyes at the typical Edward maneuver as she stood up from the steps.

"Fine. Do you want to come in for a little while, friend? I'm dehydrated from my massage and am in desperate need of a water. Besides, my butt is asleep from sitting on the concrete so long." Bella opened the front door and left it open for him to either follow or not. Edward took the opportunity to inspect said butt. It looked more than fine to him. He shook his head to clear his mind of his rather ungentlemanly and definitely un-friend-ly thoughts.

Edward sat down at the kitchen table without a word and waited while Bella got a bottle of water out of the refrigerator, opening it up and taking a long drink from the bottle with her eyes closed before paying any further attention to him. She sat down across from him at the table and stared at him for the longest time. It was killing Edward, not knowing what she was thinking as she stared. Her expressions gave nothing away. They sat there in silence for a long time before Bella finally spoke.

"Why?" was all she said.

"Why what, Bella? I'm not sure I know exactly what you're asking me," Edward replied.

Bella's face scrunched up in frustration. "I'm not sure I know, either. Why did you leave? Why did you go to Italy? Why are you acting the way you are now? I have a million questions, all of which start with 'why' and none of which I'm entirely sure I'm ready for the answer to."

"To be truthful, I'm not entirely sure I'm ready to answer them. Since it seems as though neither of us are prepared for this conversation, perhaps we should stick to safer topics for the time being. Or better yet, perhaps we could watch a movie together or something, avoid talking altogether?" Edward knew he couldn't answer her questions without telling her things she wouldn't want to hear right now. He couldn't bear the thought of being apart from her, either, though.

Bella, on the other hand, had no intention of torturing herself by sitting on a couch in a dark room alone with Edward. There was no way she could sit through a movie without feeling the urge to cuddle with him, and she was _NOT_ cuddling with him. Bella decided she'd had all of Edward she could take for one day.

"No, Edward, I don't think that's a good idea. Besides, I promised Emily I would have dinner with her and Sam tonight. I need to bake something for dessert before I go."

"Perhaps I could help?"

"Make brownies? Seriously?" Bella laughed at the very thought.

"Sure, why not? I am capable of following a recipe, I'm sure."

"I don't use a recipe. The recipe's all up here," Bella tapped her temple, sensing defeat but trying anyway.

"Well, then, you tell me what to do and I'll do it. Please, Bella? I've just missed you so much. I just want to...hang out... with you for a little while."

"Oh fine," Bella huffed, scowling at Edward's 1000 watt smile. "I hate chopping nuts, anyway. You can do that part." She tossed a bag of walnuts at him, which he gracefully caught in mid air.

The next hour was spent in comfortable silence, the only words being spoken were instructions Bella would relay to Edward. Bella found it very domestic and surprisingly pleasant. She laughed at the mess he made with the cocoa, and he responded by throwing a handful of flour in her face. Once the brownies were in the oven, they sat back down at the table, still chuckling.

I hope it's just Sam and Emily, otherwise these brownies will be gone in two seconds flat. They were Jacob's favorite, he could eat a whole tray of them in one sitting if I'd let him..." her voice trailed off as she realized what she'd said.

Edward didn't know what to do as he watched her head fall into her hands, her hair blocking her face from view as her body shook with sobs. He reached out twice to touch her, comfort her, but both times retreated at the last moment, afraid of her reaction. In the end, he chose to give her some space to grieve in peace and slipped out the back door. When Bella heard the click of the door shutting, she lifted her head up to search for him, but he was gone.


	9. Chapter 8

_**A/N: **_Thank you to the magnanimous Stephenie Meyer for allowing us to dip our feet in her pool. Thank you to our readers for reading, reviewing, and respecting my work. :)

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Edward went running after he left Bella. He ran into the mountains for hours just trying to get away, clear his head. He thought about the afternoon he had just spent with her and how could he ever follow the rules, or redeem himself. He just had to. He knew that there was no other way but her way for him to do it.

Once he had mulled the situation over, he turned back towards Forks, determined that he would follow Bella's rules, return to her life at her pace, and make sure she knew just exactly how much he still loved her, no matter what had happened while he was gone. It was, after all, his own fault that he left her the way he did.

Alice, having seen the conversation between Bella and Edward, warned the rest of the family that they needed to watch what they were thinking about, so when Edward returned home, he returned to a sea of disjointed thinking and blocking that he knew was intentional. It irritated him, but at the same time he was grateful that he didn't have to block everyone out himself.

He pulled his phone out of his pocket as he reached his bedroom, telling himself to not dial Bella's number, or text her, or go to her house and perch in the tree outside her bedroom window. He tossed the phone on his bed in frustration and went to his piano to try to relax himself. It didn't work.

The next day, Edward paced for the greater part of the day. He waited for Bella's text or call, staring at his phone every few seconds, willing it to alert him that she was communicating. Of course, all he was doing was effectively driving himself mad.

~*^*~

Bella didn't sleep well. She had nightmares and kept waking herself up. She wondered if she would ever really sleep again. She finally just got out of bed and busied herself with chores around the house that needed to be done. While doing her third load of Charlie's laundry, she sat down to read a book, but found she had trouble concentrating. She thought she was just tired, so she tried to nap.

She found that the day seemed to drag on forever, but as evening fell and she couldn't postpone it any longer, she went to her bedroom to find her cell phone. She sent Edward a single text, just as he had asked.

_I'm fine. Long day. –B_

After sending the text, Bella went to bed early and cozied into her bed to read for a while. When Charlie arrived, he knocked on Bella's door. She sighed before calling him into her room. He didn't hang around long, and was gone before Bella could even find it in her to be irritated with him. It seemed he only wanted to know how she was. Since Bella wasn't really sure how she was, it didn't take Charlie long to become uncomfortable and leave her.

The next couple of days passed in much the same way. Bella didn't hide in her bedroom anymore, nor did she go anywhere in particular. She went to the grocery store, mortified that someone might ask questions she wasn't prepared to answer, but no one paid her any attention and she was grateful for that. She tried not to think about Jacob or Edward during those days, but against her will, one or the other would float into her mind unbidden.

Thursday morning there was a knock at the door. Bella had been so absorbed in the bread dough she was kneading that the loud rapping on the door startled her. She rinsed her hands and was drying them on her apron when she opened the door to see who was outside.

There was a box on the porch, but nobody was there. She looked down at the box and stepped outside, glancing around. She didn't see any sign of a delivery truck, or of Edward, whom she suspected the box was from. She sat down on the step and pulled the box over to her, looking at it suspiciously.

It was a plain cardboard box that had been carefully taped closed. On the top, in Edward's unmistakable, perfect handwriting, was only her name. Bella. She shook her head slowly as she began to pull the tape off to see what it was that she was going to be calling Alice to come get and take back for her.

When she opened the box, she was skeptical, but all doubts were washed away when she revealed what was inside.

It was a figurine, a sculpture cut from cedar-red marble of a proud looking Indian boy and a wolf. She pulled it out of the box carefully, fighting back the tears that threatened to come. It was beautifully done. Upon closer examination, it wasn't just any Indian boy, it was Jacob. It was her Jake, the one she had known before he turned into a wolf. His hair was long and flowing, he stood with his arms crossed in only his cut-off jean shorts with a slight smile on his face. He had his back to the wolf, which was as tall as he was. The wolf was howling towards the sky. At the bottom of the sculpture, where the two figures should have been next to each other, their forms ran together.

Bella turned it over and over in her hands, marveling at the detail, the beauty, the obvious thought that had gone into the gift. Her tears spilled over her lower lids and rolled down her cheeks, dripping onto the lovely sculpture that she had been given. She wiped the tears away to keep them from ruining her gift, and as she did, she realized that Jacob's face, as well as the wolf's face, each had a tear on their cheek.

Bella peeked into the box and saw a card lying on the bottom. She carefully sat the sculpture down and picked up the card. She sniffled while she opened it, curious as to what Edward had said.

_Bella,_

_Just a little something for you, so you can always have a piece of Jacob with you. I know how much he meant to you and that he saved you when I failed to do so. Please accept this gift from me as a tribute to Jacob for all the joy he brought you in his life, and hopefully will continue to bring you for the rest of yours._

_Forever yours,  
Edward_

Bella was overcome with emotion. Some of her anger at Edward for his previous actions dissipated with the realization that he really did love her. It didn't take her long to understand that it had taken a lot of maturity on Edward's part to accept what had happened between Jake and herself while he was gone, but to love her anyway.

She carefully placed the sculpture inside the box and hoisted it up to carry it inside. She wondered as she walked if Edward had created the sculpture himself or had someone else do it. She was almost sure that he had sculpted it, but wanted to ask. She knew she was using that as an excuse to call him, but she felt strongly that this gift had been a hard decision for Edward to make.

In her room, she placed the small statue on her dresser and plopped down in her chair with her phone before sighing and dialing Edward's number. She looked out her bedroom window at the yard, noting that there were signs of spring all around. Edward picked up on the second ring.

"Bella? Is everything okay?" Bella almost smiled at Edward's innocent act on the other end of the phone.

"Everything's fine, Edward. Thank you for the… statue?" She wasn't sure what to call it, so her gratitude came out sounding like a question. She rolled her eyes at herself and wondered if she could kick her own ass.

"You're very welcome, love. Do you like it?" Edward's voice sounded so good and he seemed to be genuinely interested in whether she liked the gift, as though he would be crushed if she didn't.

"Yeah, I love it. Did you do it?" She wiped a renegade tear off her cheek as she looked over to the sculpture of Jake standing on her dresser, as though he was watching over her.

Edward hesitated before saying, "Yes, I sculpted it from memory. I was very much hoping that you would like it and not think I was trying to be difficult."

Bella smiled through the silent tears that were now falling like rain. "I really do love it, Edward. Thank you, so much." An awkward silence settled between them and Bella wiped away her tears before continuing. As much as Bella wanted to talk to Edward, she just wasn't prepared to have the type of conversation they would need to have to get past this awkwardness. She opted for avoidance instead. "Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you, so I'll talk to you later, okay?"

Disappointment was thick in Edward's voice when he answered, "Yeah, sure. Later then."

Bella realized that Edward was hoping to see her or talk to her more, but was waiting for her to make the first move, just as she had asked. She contemplated briefly how to handle it. It occurred to her that maybe spending some time together might help, but she was not really feeling like seeing Edward just then.

"Hey, Edward? You want to… I don't know… get together and do something this weekend?" Maybe she would feel more like being social with Edward then. She silently hoped for his continued understanding.

"You know I do, if you do, that is," was Edward's almost too eager answer.

They talked for a few more minutes, solidifying their plans to watch a movie on Saturday afternoon. After Bella hung up, she felt somehow relieved that the conversation had gone well.

~*^*~

Edward changed his clothes three times between four AM and nine AM Saturday morning. He paced the house, he ran in the forest, he visited the meadow, he hunted, and he paced the house some more. The entire family was becoming irritated with him, wanting him to just go to Bella's and stop annoying them, but he wouldn't leave a moment before he was supposed to. Bella had told him to arrive at two, and he would not arrive a second before that. He was being given a chance that he didn't deserve and he was well aware that he had to tread carefully.

"What time are you leaving?" Rosalie finally demanded.

"Shortly," Edward replied, equally as irritated.

"Well, why don't you leave _now_ and walk instead of drive?" she said as her heels clicked away across the floor and out the back door.

Edward ignored her and checked the time again. It was 1:30 and he decided that it was close enough. He was going. He couldn't bear to wait any longer.

He kept the Volvo under the speed limit as he made his way into town and over the well-worn path to Bella's house. It was excruciating to drive that slowly, but he didn't want to be early. He arrived at five of two, hoping that she wouldn't be upset with him.

He was thrilled when the front door of the house opened and Bella stepped out, smiling. He hopped out of the car and made his way across the lawn to greet her, but immediately noticed that something wasn't quite right.

"Is everything okay, Edward?" Bella asked, noticing a change on his face.

"I think so," Edward replied, inhaling and trying to figure out what he was smelling. As he got closer, he realized it was Bella. She didn't smell quite like herself. Her scent was… enhanced, somehow. He tried to put his finger on the difference, but finally shrugged it off as him being hypersensitive to her scent because he had been so anxious to see her for several days.

Bella took his hand as he approached and squeezed it lightly before leading him in the house. Charlie was not around and Edward had noted that his police cruiser was gone when he pulled up.

"Is Charlie working today?" Edward asked politely, trying to keep things light.

"Yeah, somebody was sick. I rented "Arsenic and Old Lace" for us to watch, is that okay?"

"Perfect," Edward replied, trying to decide where to sit. He had never felt so awkward with Bella before, and didn't like feeling that way.

Bella put the DVD in the player and grabbed the remote, plopping down on the couch in front of the television. "Aren't you going to sit down?" she asked, amused.

Edward looked from the couch to the chair, not really sure where he should sit, but Bella patted the couch next to her and he was utterly relieved that she was going to allow him to sit with her. He also noticed that now that he was inside the house with her, where her scent was intensified anyway, she almost smelled as though she were taking medication or something. There was something in her blood that just wasn't quite right. He wanted to ask her about it, but thought better of it.

They laughed through the movie, both of them really cracking up at Cary Grant being so frustrated with all the goings on. Bella giggled at the two old aunts and said, "Martha and Abby remind me of what Alice and Rosalie would be like if they were two old maid aunts."

Edward chuckled, happy to see Bella smiling and laughing. "I suppose that would make Emmett 'Teddy Roosevelt'," he replied and Bella laughed harder.

"Oh, God! Can't you just see him running down the stairs with his bugle?"

Bella laughed so hard that she fell back against Edward's chest. The feel of her body weight against him set him afire. He wanted so badly to wrap his arms around her and hold her, but she righted herself almost immediately and murmured an apology in his direction.

He reached out and gently tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear. "Don't be, Bella, really," he said, almost too low for her to hear.

Bella turned to look at him and silence fell across the room like a veil as they stared at each other. The sounds coming from the television seemed far away, as though nothing existed in the world at that moment except the two of them. Edward fought the urge to lean forward and kiss her, not knowing she was fighting the exact same urge.

The movie was over and the room fell into deafening silence as Edward and Bella continued to hold each other's gaze. Edward's senses were acutely aware of Bella's proximity, her heart beating, the blood rushing through her vessels, the air moving in and out of her lungs.

Bella moved first, inching towards Edward. She leaned forward, but just as her lips were about to meet his, she turned her head and placed a soft kiss on his cheek, leaning back quickly.

"Thank you for today," she said quietly as she rose and walked to the kitchen to deposit her popcorn bowl in the sink.


	10. Chapter 9

_**A/N: **_We're sorry it's late, and rather short, but it's definitely not filler and we think (hope!) you'll really like it. Just remember how we mentioned there were a few plot points we couldn't negotiate in this tale? This is one of them. :)

Thanks for sticking with us! Hopefully we'll be more frequent with updates now that summer is here and the kids' social schedules have slowed down a bit.

* * *

Bella stumbled out of bed, poured herself a cup of orange juice, and took a good look around. When had the house gotten so messy? She knew she hadn't dusted in weeks, but in all honesty, with the exception of the living room, which they'd managed to keep tidy, the place was filthy! She donned her rubber gloves as though they were gauntlets, armed herself with a mop and a bucket, and systematically began tackling the house one room at a time. She did the kitchen first, since it was in the worst shape - how did tomato sauce get all the way up there? - then the living room and the mud room. She did her bedroom next but ignored Charlie's room. As far as she was concerned, he was on his own. There was no telling what was growing in there based on the fishy smell emanating from it.

Finally, she started cleaning the upstairs bathroom. She scrubbed the tub, and the floors, and the sink, changed out all the towels, and cleaned the mirror. When she went to throw the hairspray that was on the sick under the counter where it belonged, she realized that they had thrown one too many things under there. Literally. Everything had clearly been tossed in there on top of whatever was already in there until it was just a giant molehill of stuff. With a huff, she sat down on the still damp floor and pulled everything out so she could put it away in an orderly fashion. In the process, she found a ton of stuff that had expired, and a half full tube of preparation H hidden in the back that she didn't even know was there. She held onto it at arm's length with a single finger and her thumb as she threw it away.

Then she found her box of tampons. She stared at the box, which was close to the back of the cabinet. How long had it been since she'd had her period? She tried to figure it out, but she couldn't remember. She never bothered to track that kind of thing, since she wasn't exactly regular in the first place. It just wasn't a good enough indicator to bother with. But now, she was desperately trying to figure out how long it had been. It was before Jacob died, but beyond that she didn't have a clue. She was late, of that she was certain. But between her irregularity and the stress of the last few weeks, it didn't exactly surprise her. Still, she decided to put the box close to the front, figuring she would need them soon, and didn't give it another thought.

She was still avoiding Edward. She wanted to see him again, spend time with him. Get the answers to all the questions that had plagued her for so long. But he wanted too much, too soon, he'd already made that clear, and she was afraid if she gave him an inch, he would take a mile. Not only that, but she felt guilty after enjoying herself watching the movie with him. It had almost seemed like before, and his cool chest against her back felt much too familiar. She couldn't help but feel that it was disrespectful to Jacob's memory. Almost as if she were cheating on him with Edward, even though she knew that wasn't the case.

It was just too soon, the wounds were too fresh and she missed Jake terribly, every day. And it wasn't even like she could convince herself that Jake would want her to be happy, that he would approve, because she knew without a doubt that he most definitely would not approve of Edward. He would want her to move to the reservation, find herself a nice, loyal werewolf where he would know she was safe and protected, both in body and spirit, far far away from vampires.

So she diligently sent her daily text messages so Edward knew she hadn't slit her wrists or anything, and that was all. She did meet Alice for lunch one day, which was nice, although as soon as she saw her, the first thing Alice asked was if she'd switched perfumes. Bella reminded her she didn't wear perfume. Then midway through lunch, she asked if she switched shampoos. Bella was confused, but answered no. Then when they went to hug goodbye, Alice asked if she'd switched body washes. Bella looked at her like she was crazy and asked her what was up. Did she smell bad? No, Alice reassured her, in fact, she smelled really good, even better than usual. She was just trying to figure out why. The whole thing was rather odd.

Bella figured it out later that week. She had started to fry some fish for dinner when the smell overwhelmed her and she ended up vomiting rather violently. After she was done, she reached under the cabinet to grab the mouthwash when she spied her box of tampons, still gathering dust. A cold chill ran down her spine, and the next thing she knew, she was vomiting again. She held her breath as she threw the fish out, ordered Charlie a pizza, and drove like a madwoman to the drugstore.

Thirty five minutes and two blue lines later, Bella was sitting on the now dry and extremely cold bathroom floor wondering what the hell she was going to do now. She found herself getting angry at Edward for Jacob's death all over again. All the reasoning she'd done to convince herself it wasn't Edward's fault went out the window the minute she realized that her baby's father was gone. Jacob didn't live long enough to learn he was going to be a father, and their baby would never set eyes on their daddy.

Bella started throwing things around the room, screaming and crying and basically having a very cathartic nervous breakdown. She looked around the disaster that was her room with an odd sense of pride and accomplishment. She suddenly found herself utterly exhausted, so she took one end of her comforter, shook it out, sending everything that had landed on the bed flying once more, then crawled in to go to sleep.

Even then, sleep didn't come, and she lay in bed thinking for a time, trying to reshape her future around the tiny life growing in her belly. She would keep it, that was a given. Jacob had left her with the most precious gift he could, a living, soon-to-be-breathing, piece of him. Hopefully Charlie would understand and let them continue to live there. If he did, then maybe she would still be able to finish college and support them both, even if it took a little longer than she'd originally anticipated. With that thought, and the peace that came with her decision, she drifted off to sleep, dreaming of tiny baby buntings.

She never realized that she forgot to text Edward.

She woke up in the middle of the night to use the restroom and found her room back in perfect condition, except for the distinct smell of super glue which was making her nauseous all over again. Oh, yeah, and the brooding vampire sitting in her rocking chair.

"You're pregnant," Edward said, encased in shadow. She could only really see the tips of his shoes in the small sliver of moonlight on her floor. All she could make out otherwise was his profile, so she had no idea what expression might be on his face, and his voice wasn't giving away a damned thing.

"How did you find out? Were you in my bathroom? Did you go through my trash?"

"That wasn't necessary. When you didn't text me tonight as you'd promised, I got concerned. I came to check on you, and realized there were two heartbeats coming from your room. One was much faster than the other, and for a moment I thought maybe you had a werewolf with you. I almost turned around, but then I realized the second heartbeat was more muffled. I snuck in here, and then I knew for sure. I'm guessing you just figured it out yourself?" His open hand swept across the room, cutting through the moonlight like a shimmering knife and then returning to the darkness.

"Yes, earlier today."

"Well, at least I understand why you didn't text me."

"Yes. I had a lot on my mind, but as you can see, I'm fine. Thank you for cleaning my room, although that was far from necessary, but I'd like to go back to sleep now."

"You want me to leave?" Edward sounded pained, and Bella cringed from the sound, but didn't back down. Her torrent of emotions would only cause her to say things she would regret.

"Yes, that's the general idea, Edward. It's two thirty in the morning, and I'm in no mood to entertain guests at this hour."

Before she could even blink from the breeze his movement caused, he was gone.

* * *

**So, how many of you guessed?**


	11. Chapter 10

_**A/N:**__ Here we are with the latest installment. This story will be finished before a year has passed from the time of purchase yet! Thank you to Dr. Death for being patient with us while we have worked on other projects. Thank you to all of you readers for hanging in there with us while we try to make sense of this wild story!_

_Any reference to puppies in this chapter is thanks to Dr. Death. Please feel free to throw things at him. Heavy things._

_Thank you to Stephenie Meyer for allowing us to play in her world. This story belongs to Lillie Cullen, changedbyEdward, and Dr. Death. Please respect that._

* * *

Edward left Bella's house with a plethora of emotions running through his head. The text message from Alice wanting to know if she could go see Bella didn't help. He smashed the phone to dust in his hand and ran for the house.

"No, Alice. Let her be. She wants to be alone," he snarled when Alice approached him.

Edward's emotions were way out of control and were driving Jasper crazy from the moment Edward entered the house. Jasper appeared in the doorway of Edward's room and stood watching Edward as he yanked books and CDs off shelves and flung them to the floor. He appeared to be having some sort of break down. Jasper sent calming waves through the room, hoping it would chill Edward out a bit, but it didn't seem to faze him. All it did was cause Edward to growl at him and then jump out the window and run at top speed into the forest.

He ran far enough that he found himself high up in the mountains and caught the scent of a bear, so he tracked it down and attacked it viciously. More viciously than he normally would have. The bear put up a good fight, but in the end, Edward won. He drained its lifeblood quickly and hurriedly discarded the carcass.

Filled to the brim with blood, Edward laid down and stared up into the night sky. He thought about his feelings for Bella and knew they hadn't changed. He wondered if God was punishing him somehow for what he was, but quickly tossed that thought aside for another.

Jacob.

Jacob's child was growing inside of Bella's womb. A fatherless child. A child that would never know the sacrifice his father had made for his mother's safety.

Edward spent most of the night mulling this over. And a good part of the next day. The bottom line was that he loved Bella. It didn't matter to him that she had been intimate with Jacob. He had already known about that anyway. It didn't matter to him that she was pregnant with Jacob's child, either. He still loved her more than his own life.

As he played the scenarios out in his mind, there was only one that made complete sense to him. His lot in life had denied him one thing that he had always wanted. Being a father. Bella's pregnancy could give him that opportunity and she could have the best of both worlds. A little piece of Jacob in her child, and Edward's stability and support to help her raise that child.

Now he just had to convince her that it was the best way.

Determined, he hopped out of the snow drift that had formed around him, and started the long run home.

Alice was bouncing up and down in the backyard when he arrived. Edward rolled his eyes. "No, Alice. You still can't go. I don't even know if she'll go for it." He tried to brush past her, but Alice grabbed his arm and showed him her vision.

He looked at her incredulously. "But… I only heard…"

Alice nodded and showed him more.

Edward was ecstatic. It was too good to be true. He headed straight for Carlisle's study when he entered the house, hoping that Bella would take this small piece of help he was offering her. It was a start.

Carlisle went to Bella straight away, offering her medical care for her pregnancy, ensuring that she had prenatal vitamins and was eating right, and checking on not only her health, but the health of the twin babies that were growing inside her.

Although Bella was in a state of confusion and her hormones were going crazy and making her an emotional mess, she accepted Carlisle's assistance. In her heart, she knew that Carlisle was her best choice of doctor for the pregnancy anyway. She knew that he loved her and would protect her and her unborn children, as much as he could.

Over the next few weeks, Edward had a new bounce to his step. Even without seeing Bella, he received reports on her condition every day from Carlisle. He knew that things were going well with the pregnancy and that Bella wasn't too terribly sick, although she had suffered through morning sickness quite a lot.

He also knew that Bella had told no one what was going on yet. Not Charlie, or the pack, or any of her friends. She wouldn't be able to hide the pregnancy for long, and Edward worried that his plan needed to be stepped up if he was to be there for her in time.

For the time being, he was trying to remain supportive, but also let her have her space. He refused to insist on seeing her, even though all he ever wanted to do was see her.

Alice and Esme were spending their time alone in the woods somewhere north of the house doing something that they both refused to tell Edward about. Every time he tried to pick it out of their minds, he was blocked with visions of women in lingerie, fashion magazines, construction magazines, Miley Cyrus and Britney Spears… anything to keep him from seeing what they were really thinking about.

Even Rosalie seemed to be in a better mood and kept Edward out of her head as well. Each day when Carlisle went to visit Bella, Rosalie had taken to going with him. She was fascinated by Bella's pregnancy and although she was green with envy at Bella's condition, she was more excited that she was able to watch the pregnancy from start to finish and be with Bella for it.

Rosalie's first few visits with Carlisle turned into long hours sitting with Bella and talking. They finally began to know each other… to love each other… like sisters. Bella had begun to think of Rosalie as her greatest ally, even more so than Alice. Although she still loved Alice, Rose was so much more interested in the pregnancy than Alice seemed to be.

Alice complained that being around Bella gave her a 'headache' and apologized for her absence, but kept her distance for the most part. The shapeshifter genes that the babies carried were the only things Alice could contribute her headaches and loss of visions to.

Alice's complaints brought other worries, which festered in Bella's mind. She finally had the nerve to bring it up to Carlisle a couple of weeks after his visits started.

"Carlisle, my babies, they're part Quileute… couldn't being around… vampires… cause them… I don't know… problems? I mean… what if they start to phase before they're even born? I could give birth to...puppies!" Tears stained Bella's cheeks as she waited for Carlisle's response. She didn't want to lose her friends, but she also couldn't risk the lives of her babies. Jacob's babies.

Carlisle sat down in the rocking chair in Bella's room in which Edward had spent so many nights. He regarded Bella carefully and spoke softly and clearly.

"Bella, the gene that causes the Quileute to phase doesn't kick in until puberty. Your babies will be perfectly safe around us while they are still in the womb and while they are young."

"But how can you be sure, Carlisle?" Bella pleaded. She had to know if her babies were truly safe.

Carlisle stood and crossed the floor, taking Bella's hand in his. He kissed her hand gently and let it drop back to her side. "Bella, l have researched the shapeshifters at length. I would never lie to you. You should know that by now. If you prefer, we'll stay away, but I can assure you that your babies are perfectly safe with us."

Bella studied Carlisle's face and deep in her heart, she knew he was being perfectly honest with her. She nodded her head minutely and relaxed. He was right; he would never lead her astray. It wasn't in Carlisle's nature to behave that way.

Bella was eight weeks pregnant when Carlisle reminded her that she wouldn't be able to wait much longer to tell Charlie and the wolf pack about her pregnancy. She knew she had to do so soon, but felt incredibly alone and vulnerable. While she was happy about the babies, she was frightened, too. How was she going to raise not just one, but two babies, all by herself?

Bella was sitting staring out her bedroom window, trying to figure out what she was going to do, when Edward decided to make his appearance.

"Bella, may I come in?" he asked softly from her bedroom door. She had been so absorbed in her thoughts; she hadn't even heard it open. She jumped, and then turned towards the sound of the most beautiful voice in the world.

"Sure, Edward. You can come in."

Edward was thrilled that she would see him. He had been sending her text messages and sending his well wishes with Carlisle and Rosalie for weeks, but had received very little response, other than an occasional 'I'm fine.'

Edward was nervous as he entered Bella's room. It had been quite some time since he had been here and he wasn't sure whether this would be his last visit or not. It was all up to Bella. Only she could decide.

He listened to the three distinct heartbeats in the room. Bella's was just slightly faster than it normally was, but the two muffled heartbeats were even faster. One faster than the other.

Bella's scent was stronger than Edward remembered and he inhaled deeply, feeling his nervousness fall away in response to the familiarity of her smell. Whatever happened, he would remember that scent for all eternity.

Bella continued to look out the window, watching the rain falling softly outside. She was nervous. She wasn't sure what Edward's reaction was going to be after the last time she saw him.

Silently, Edward sat down on the edge of the bed. "Bella, would you come over here, please? I'd like to talk." He waited patiently for her response, not sure how to read her since she still had her back to him.

After a few incredibly long moments, Bella rose and walked to the bed, sitting next to him.

"May I?" he asked before placing his hand on her belly. Bella nodded, surprised.

Even though Bella could not yet feel the babies move inside her, Edward could feel the fluttering of their movements. His heart soared and it gave him the strength he needed to approach her with his plan.

"I'd like to help you, Bella. I'd like to help you raise the babies, if you'll have me." He searched her face for a reaction and when the tears spilled down her cheeks, he wasn't sure what to think. He pulled his hand away from her belly and wiped the tears from her face with the pads of his thumbs.

She pushed his hands away, but without force. "You can't, Edward. They're not your babies to raise. You can't just waltz in here and 'fix' this. It's done. I made a mistake. It's a mistake I'll have to live with for the rest of my life, but you can't fix it. I'm the one who has to live with it."

Bella looked at her lap and wrung her hands together, tears falling silently and splashing on her arms.

Edward's stone cold heart was breaking to see Bella like this. He knew she would be determined and stubborn. He counted on it, in fact. He just wasn't sure he had the right words to say to convince her, yet he took a deep breath that he didn't need for anything other than to calm his nerves, and began.

He scooted close to her on the bed and slipped his arm around her, pulling her into a gentle hug. Her shoulders slumped and she turned her face to him, burying it in his shoulder before she began to sob in earnest.

"Shhh, love. Everything will be alright," he soothed. It only caused Bella to sob harder and grab hold of his shirt, hanging on tightly with fisted hands.

Edward let her cry. The tears fell like rain. But he didn't interrupt, he just held her, waiting for her to compose herself. When the sobs died down, he stroked her hair and kissed the top of her head softly.

"I'm sorry," she sobbed into his shoulder. "This isn't fair to you for me to… to…"

"Bella, stop please. I really don't mind. You've obviously needed a shoulder to cry on and I'm more than happy to provide that for you. Along with anything else you might need." Edward lifted her easily and cradled her in his lap, rocking her back and forth.

Finally, her puffy, reddened eyes opened and looked at him. Even with her face red and her nose running, and her eyes puffy from crying, she was still the most beautiful woman Edward had ever seen. He smiled down at her.

Bella sniffled. "You said you wanted to talk to me?"

"Yes. I do want to talk to you. Can I take you for a ride?"

Bella looked up at Edward and considered his request. He had done everything she asked him to. When she asked him to leave her alone, he did. When she needed him to be there for her, he was. Even when she didn't know that he was what she needed at that point in time. What was it going to hurt to hear him out?

She nodded her acquiescence.

Edward immediately whisked her outside to the car and carefully buckled her into the passenger's seat. When he climbed in behind the wheel, he took a moment to just look at her before he started the car and took her on the familiar trek to the meadow. Their meadow.

He assisted her out of the car, becoming more nervous by the minute. No matter. He had a mission. He hoped it would all work out the way he wanted it to, but knew there was a distinct possibility that she would say no to him.

Edward cradled her and carried her as he ran up to the meadow and when he arrived, he deposited her carefully on the blanket that he had brought along.

"What's all this?" she asked with a giggle.

The sound of her laughter made Edward's heart soar, and gave him the courage he needed to continue. He sat down beside her and took her hands in his.

"Bella, I have spent the last several weeks doing some… well, I guess you would call it soul searching, even though I'm not convinced of the plight of my own. I have thought over every scenario that my mind can fathom, Bella. And there is only one way that I can see for everything to work out in the best interest of everyone involved."

She didn't turn away from him and she didn't speak. He took this as a sign to continue, so he scooted a little closer to her and did just that.

"I can take care of you, Bella. Physically, emotionally, financially… and your babies, too. I had always looked forward to being a father, and after Carlisle changed me, I grieved for decades over the fact that I would never have that chance. Bella, you and Jacob, you've given me that chance, and I would like the opportunity to fulfill that role." He stopped briefly and took in her expression. Her eyes were wide, her mouth was open. He couldn't tell if it was shock, disbelief, or anger.

"Edward… What is it, exactly, that you're getting at? You want… to be the father of Jacob's children? I don't understand." The questions shone in Bella's eyes. She was trying to fathom what it was that Edward was telling her. She couldn't even begin to believe that he would want to help her raise Jacob's children. Although he had left, she had never shaken the feeling that she had betrayed Edward when she was with Jacob. She did, after all, still love Edward, deeply, but had been sure that it was over. He had left her so easily…

"You know that I lied when I left you, Bella," he continued, answering her unspoken question. "My life… it's nothing without you in it, and if you being in it means that I get to be a father to your children, then that's just a bonus as far as I'm concerned. I don't want to see you do this by yourself, Bella. Give me the chance to help you and give these babies the life that they deserve to have after their father's ultimate sacrifice for the life of their mother. Please consider it, Bella. I'm not asking for your answer right this minute. I know you have a lot on your mind, but I would like you to take my offer into consideration. I would be willing to love all three of you for the rest of forever."


End file.
